At a certain point, most of what you knew about money came from your parents. They were the distributors of your sacred allowance, the funders of your phone bill, the providers of your health insurance. Before you were old enough to procure an income of your own, they were your bank — if you wanted money, you had to ask.
As you get older, this changes. You become your own source of capital. You work to finance your home, your clothing, your groceries, your cell phone. And while your parents may remain among the only people you feel totally comfortable discussing money with, they're no longer responsible. They're confidants, not providers.
But what happens when the order is reversed? What happens when you become the financial support system for your parents? It's only natural that, at a certain point, your income is more substantial — or at the very least, more regular. So after a lifetime of turning to your parents for money advice, how do you begin to talk to them about their finances?
Apparently, one in every five millennials is offering financial support to their parents -- many of whom are carrying serious debts of their own. We're talking student loans, mortgage payments, and your standard credit card bills. But how do you say no to the people who have given you financial care for your entire life?
"When you reach a certain age, you become aware of everything your parents did for you during your childhood," says financial columnist Patty Lamberti. "And you'll do anything to help them during their time of need. But you need to think about yourself, and your old age, too."
According to the Washington Post, only 41% of workers have planned -- at all -- for retirement. That being the case, the Post suggests preempting a discussion with your parents with a conversation amongst siblings (if you have them). This way you can clarify what you all are capable of giving, and how, as a unit, you can best support mom and dad. You have a built-in team to ease the burden of the conversation.
When it's finally time to sit down and talk, siblings or not, be sure to time your interaction carefully -- just prior to Thanksgiving dinner is probably not the moment to lay it all on the table. You want to find time to sit quietly, as far removed from major stressors as possible.
While you discuss your future financial relationship, think about ways you can help that don't involve dishing out cash. Can you help them relocate? Cancel services they don't use? Downsize in some small way? How can you help them regain control of their own finances?
Keep in mind the fact that you are, of course, still responsible for yourself, and if you put yourself in serious debt, your kids, too, will be struggling to support you. You don't want to allow this to become a cycle. "Remember that a fiscally reckless parent is still your parent," the Post declares. "Budget for the help you can afford. But don't let his or her financial sins be your burden. It's not yours to carry."
Legally, you will not be responsible for your parents debts when they pass away, unless you co-signed on something like a property. Be a source of support for your parents, but be clear with them that you cannot offer your services past a point. You have your own family to care for, and this should remain the priority. Whatever help you provide should not make you liable for debts that are not yours.
If you're looking for a little more support, think about consulting a resource. Try reading through the guide Merrill Lynch put together, and if you need more support, feel free to reach out to a representative to talk through some of your concerns. The same goes for Northwest Mutual -- check out their written advice before giving them a call. And last but not least, set up a meeting with a representative at your parents' bank. Let them offer you their thoughts on how to move forward.
With all this in mind, do not lost sight of the fact that you love your parents. They raised you. They taught you most of what you know when it comes to money -- and just about everything else in the world. Support them, but don't ruin yourself in the process. Be there for them, even if dishing out cash is not an option for you. And when you speak to them, be sure to clarify that that you are infinitely grateful for they ways they support you. But that gratitude doesn't warrant a lifetime of debt on your own part.
- How to Talk to Your Aging Parent About Finances (and What Not to ... ›
- How to Talk to Your Aging Parents (about Finances) ›
- How to Talk to Aging Parents About Money | FINRA.org ›
- 7 tips for talking to your aging parents about money | PBS NewsHour ›
- How To Talk To Your Parents About Money | DaveRamsey.com ›
- How to Talk to Your Parents About Money Without Being a Jerk ›
The National Financial Educators Council (NFEC) surveyed young adults in 2017 and asked them what high school level course would benefit their lives the most.
The majority responded that money management was the course that would be most beneficial.
With personal debt is at its highest record and COVID-19 threatening to have the hardest economic effects on youth, understanding money and finances is an important life lesson that should be taught to children at a young age.
The following is a list of the best financial literacy lessons and tips to teach children throughout different life stages.
I thought I had a pretty good handle on my finances out of school. I worked several jobs while attending university and had little to no problem managing my income. However, once I graduated, I realized how much more complicated personal accounting could really be.
There were so many variables I needed to keep track of. Biweekly bills, monthly charges, and general necessities amounted to a heap of confusing numbers that were often impossible to decipher. The funniest part was that I was actually trying to do this by hand (I don't know what I was trying to prove to myself, either).
After messing up for the 17th time, I decided to give Microsoft Excel a shot. I used Excel a bit in school and I knew all the big-wig finance people used it, so what could I possibly have to lose? The answer is about six hours of my precious time. Excel isn't much of an improvement over handwriting and it's still dependent on the user to manually input all of the information. It's like doing everything by hand with the slightest help, meaning that it still required a tremendous amount of time and concentration. Well that was all for nothing, I guess.
It's sort of funny. I was certain that I could manage my personal finances with ease, when it's practically a full-time job. I was already stressed out enough with my first job and I knew I didn't have enough time to give my finances the attention it deserved.
That's why I decided to try out a budgeting app. My best friend told me that he uses an app called Truebill to manage his finances. "What does it even mean to manage your finances?" I asked him. He told me that Truebill was the personal financial assistant I wished I could have. It could aggregate all of my account information into one place and give me specific insights and actions.
I loved the idea of having full control over my finances, especially during a time of financial uncertainty, and I realized that Truebill would be the easiest way to accomplish this. The user interface is incredibly simple and intuitive, so it doesn't even feel like a finance app! Truebill offers a multitude of features, with their most popular being the ability to cancel subscriptions with the press of a button.
Okay, I had no idea how many subscriptions I was still subscribed to. In fact, I wasn't even using a quarter of the subscription services I was signed up for. Subscription boxes, streaming services, my old gym, and even an old subscription to my favorite magazine--it was all there and I was livid. How could I let myself waste all of this money and how did I never catch this? Thank goodness for Truebill.
Truebill also offers bill negotiations. There is a 40% fee based on how much you save and Truebill even claims that there is an 85% chance that they'll be able to lower your bill once a negotiation is requested. Why wouldn't I take them up on this? There was zero risk and I would only have to pay once my bill was lowered (which means that I would be saving money regardless).
More standard features of Truebill include the ability to generate a credit report on-demand and even request a pay advance. I only used the pay advance feature once when I wanted to buy a gift for my mom, but didn't have enough cash in hand and Truebill automatically reimbursed itself when I got my next paycheck.
The credit report is another fantastic feature and practically taught me what good credit meant. Truebill's credit report basically shows you which financial decisions have the most significant impact on your credit score and ways that you can improve your credit month-over-month. I've never had such control over my credit and it feels good.
I'll be the first to admit that I was extremely naive coming out of school. I figured that as long as I was attentive, I could manage my finances with ease. We manage money to some extent throughout our entire lives, but once you're thrown out on your own, it's a completely different story. With Truebill, I've finally been able to take control over my finances and stay on top of all of my responsibilities.
My buddies and I always try to make it out to a game, but we never really care which one we end up at. Obviously we have our favorite sports and teams, but it was rarely about what game we went to or who we saw playing. It was about watching the game live.
In the early months of lockdown, all we had was Korean baseball, and trust me, we loved it. The only issue was, none of us had any idea what the commentators were saying. Even then, a few of my friends weren't huge fans of baseball. They were into sports like football and basketball, ones that moved at a quicker pace with less down-time in between plays.
We decided to see if there were any other events going down and came across horse racing. Yes, horse racing. It was perfect--short, fast-paced, and most importantly, an opportunity for betting.
I had never really considered watching a horse race any time other than the Belmont Stakes, but the prospects of the sport seemed exhilarating. Even better, with horse racing we knew we could still recreate the atmosphere of a race track. Salty snacks? Check. Stale beer? Check. A simple and easy way to bet? Check.
One quick Google search later, we came across TVG, powered by FanDuel. It's an online betting platform that takes you right to the heart of the action. We were a little apprehensive about using a mobile app to place our bets, but TVG's ability to bet on live horse races from all over the world was too good to pass up.
Here are 5 reasons why we are obsessed with horse racing thanks to TVG:
1. Betting has never been easier
Use your phone or computer to watch and bet on live horse races in real-time. TVG offers a bunch of features to make betting even simpler--live odds and handicapping tips leverage recent learnings to help you make your best bet. Not to mention, TVG's exclusive race content and wagering guide offers an under-the-hood look into the strategy behind horse race betting.
2. The biggest selection of horse races out there
If you're looking to drop a little dough on a horse race, chances are your best option is your local race track. But watching the same few horses races over and over again isn't the most exciting thing. With TVG you have access to over 150 tracks worldwide with races happening consistently throughout the day.
3. Get a generous sign-up offer when you place your first bet
Once you register your account, you will be eligible for a $200 risk-free bet. All you have to do is place your first bet and you're covered. If you happen to lose, TVG will insure you for up to $200 as a sort of wagering credit. I may have been a little trigger happy when placing my first bet, so having this insurance was a great perk. There are also a bunch of promotional offers available year-round.
4. Making deposits and cashing out at the touch of button
With a ton of payment options such as PayPal, BetCash, debit/credit, wire transfers, and other third-party services, making a deposit is a breeze. But what about the payout? Depending on your deposit method, your withdrawal will be available in a few days. No more waiting in-line to collect your winnings!
5. Watching live races with your friends while betting is exhilarating
Even when we were watching Korean baseball, Zoom calls with my friends were a little dull.
With TVG, we haven't had this sort of fun in months! Every weekend we'll turn on a race and throw our bets in. After a few races, and quite a few drinks, we'll tally up our winnings to see who won the most! Sometimes it's not even about making money, but just having a good time.
TVG is the perfect way to add a little excitement to an otherwise mundane afternoon. It introduced me to the world of horse racing, a sport I never would have considered otherwise.
The races just keep ramping up and thanks to TVG, I can always get in on the fun.