Everyone wants to be rich, but not everyone is good at it.

You, on the other hand, have had your whole life to practice being rich, without the distraction of developing any skills or working for a living. You make coasting through life look easy! Still, there are some pitfalls to being born with everything you'll ever need, especially when interacting with those less fortunate. So from failson to failson, here are some tips and tricks to living your best life in the shade of your parents' money-tree.

Befriend Some Poors

Annoyed Barista

She doesn't know she wants to be your friend yet

It's important to stay grounded. If you only ever hang out with Trey and Ashlynn at the polo club, you'll lose touch with the commoners. That's not you. You're the kind of Richie Rich that lives your truth and stays humble, so it's important that you look at poor people as a tool for learning. You can find some poors studying at a public university, or even behind the counter of your favorite coffee shop. Some barista's actually make what's known as "tipped wage," which, in New York, means they make $10/hour plus tips. Here's a tip, that means they're poor! They might resist your advances at first, but you let them know that they're just as good as you, in their own way. Tell them some stories about Milan, or the crew team—oh my god, crew team stories are the best!

Ask About Your Poor Friends’ Finances

This Guy Has Questions About Money

You never had to learn about money... you just always knew

How are you going to learn if you don't ask questions? If they talk about their job, ask them how much they make. If they invite you to their apartment, look around for a few seconds, then take a guess at how much they pay in rent. Make sure it's a super low-ball guess, so you don't offend them. If they mention how much something cost—anything—be sure to ask if that's a lot of money for them. You might be surprised! You can even use these questions to help them improve their finances. If they're stressing about scraping together enough for their bills this month, say "Don't you have savings?" In order to retire by 65—30 years too late if you ask me—millennials should be putting about half their paychecks into savings, but chances are that your poor friends aren't doing that. This will nudge them in the right direction.

Split the Bill Evenly

Splitting the Bill

Getty Images

Going out to dinner with your working class friends? Suggest the kind of place they probably haven't been before. Per Se? Say no more. They'll probably be a little uncomfortable and try to order something cheap, but you can set expectations by giving their "braised chicken breast" a little raised eyebrow, then ordering whatever comes with the most shaved truffle. When the bill comes, show your friends you see them as your equal by splitting it down the middle.

Treat Your Luxury Goods Like Shit

An Abandoned Car

Oh, that old hunk of junk?

A lot of poor people think that the natively wealthy are all obsessed with status symbols and designer goods. Show them how superficial you think that stuff is by throwing your Louis bag on the floor like a sack of potatoes the moment you walk inside. If you take your poor friends to a rooftop bar with a pool, jump in with your Gucci loafers still on. Suggest a game of "streetball" at a public park, where they don't even charge you to play, and show up in your Balenciaga t-shirt to get your sweat on.

Talk About How Stressful Your Vacations Are

Tourist Posing With A Llama in Peru

This shot seriously took like 20 takes, you guys

Borders of Adventure

At this point, you pretty much get their whole deal. Their full-time job is stressing them out when they're at their part-time job, and their health insurance won't cover the yoga retreat in Iceland that you keep suggesting—blah blah blah. Show them that the grass isn't always greener just because it's treated with mink-scat fertilizer. You have your own sources of stress, and they'll feel better about their problems if you explain to them how much you had to work to "find yourself" on your trip to Peru—the llamas kept trying to eat your hair when you were posing for pictures, and that porter who carried your bags up the mountain could barely even speak proper Castellano (also, those guys only make like $30/day, so what are your poor friends even complaining about). See? Your life is hard too! Honestly, if your new friends don't get that, maybe they don't deserve you.

In fact, f*ck this whole thing. You don't need poor friends.

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Over two years into the most momentous event in our lives the world has changed forever … Some of us have PTSD from being locked up at home, some are living like everything’s going to end tomorrow, and the rest of us are merely trying to get by. When the pandemic hit we entered a perpetual state of vulnerability, but now we’re supposed to return to normal and just get on with our lives.

What does that mean? Packed bars, concerts, and grocery shopping without a mask feel totally strange. We got used to having more rules over our everyday life, considering if we really had to go out or keeping Zooming from our living rooms in threadbare pajama bottoms.

The work-from-home culture changed it all. Initially, companies were skeptical about letting employees work remotely, automatically assuming work output would fall and so would the quality. To the contrary, since March of 2020 productivity has risen by 47%, which says it all. Employees can work from home and still deliver results.

There are a number of reasons why everyone loves the work from home culture. We gained hours weekly that were wasted on public transport, people saved a ton of money, and could work from anywhere in the world. Then there were the obvious reasons like wearing sweats or loungewear all week long and having your pets close by. Come on, whose cat hasn’t done a tap dance on your keyboard in the middle of that All Hands Call!

Working from home grants the freedom to decorate your ‘office’ any way you want. But then people needed a change of environment. Companies began requesting their employees' RTO, thus generating the Hybrid Work Model — a blend of in-person and virtual work arrangements. Prior to 2020, about 20% of employees worked from home, but in the midst of the pandemic, it exploded to around 70%.

Although the number of people working from home increased and people enjoyed their flexibility, politicians started calling for a harder RTW policy. President Joe Biden urges us with, “It’s time for Americans to get back to work and fill our great downtowns again.”

While Boris Johnson said, “Mother Nature does not like working from home.'' It wasn’t surprising that politicians wanted people back at their desks due to the financial impact of working from the office. According to a report in the BBC, US workers spent between $2,000 - $5,000 each year on transport to work before the pandemic.

That’s where the problem lies. The majority of us stopped planning for public transport, takeaway coffee, and fresh work-appropriate outfits. We must reconsider these things now, and our wallets are paying

the price. Gas costs are at an all-time high, making public transport increase their fees; food and clothes are all on a steep incline. A simple iced latte from Dunkin’ went from $3.70 to $3.99 (which doesn’t seem like much but 2-3 coffees a day with the extra flavors and shots add up to a lot), while sandwiches soared by 14% and salads by 11%.

This contributes to the pressure employees feel about heading into the office. Remote work may have begun as a safety measure, but it’s now a savings measure for employees around the world.

Bloomberg are offering its US staff a $75 daily commuting stipend that they can spend however they want. And other companies are doing the best they can. This still lends credence to ‘the great resignation.’ Initially starting with the retail, food service, and hospitality sectors which were hard hit during the pandemic, it has since spread to other industries. By September 2021, the US Bureau of Labor Statistics reported 4.4 million resignations.

That’s where the most critical question lies…work from home, work from the office or stick to this new hybrid world culture?

Borris Johnson thinks, “We need to get back into the habit of getting into the office.” Because his experience of working from home “is you spend an awful lot of time making another cup of coffee and then, you know, getting up, walking very slowly to the fridge, hacking off a small piece of cheese, then walking very slowly back to your laptop and then forgetting what it was you’re doing.”

While New York City Mayor Eric Adams says you “can't stay home in your pajamas all day."

In the end, does it really matter where we work if efficiency and productivity are great? We’ve proven that companies can trust us to achieve the same results — or better! — and on time with this hybrid model. Employees can be more flexible, which boosts satisfaction, improves both productivity and retention, and improves diversity in the workplace because corporations can hire through the US and indeed all over the world.

We’ve seen companies make this work in many ways, through virtual lunches, breakout rooms, paint and prosecco parties, and — the most popular — trivia nights.

As much as we strive for normalcy, the last two years cannot simply be erased. So instead of wiping out this era, it's time to embrace the change and find the right world culture for you.

What would get you into the office? Free lunch? A gym membership? Permission to hang out with your dog? Some employers are trying just that.

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Did you hear about the Great Resignation? It isn’t over. Just over two years of pandemic living, many offices are finally returning to full-time or hybrid experiences. This is causing employees to totally reconsider their positions.

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