Ever since the pandemic popularized (or forced) virtual meetings and, countless companies adopted the hybrid work model or went completely virtual. And once the public health crisis was declared over, we remained confined to our desks in our kitchens and attics working from home.
And it’s not just work. Doctor’s TeleHealth appointments, therapy visits on Zoom, asynchronous classes. It seems like nobody wants to meet in-person anymore.
I’m guilty of this. Ever since COVID-19 hit the world, I often opt for virtual appointments over in-person visits. I’ve gotten a bit shy, a bit lazy, and a bit reclusive. It’s a struggle to motivate myself to go anywhere some days.
According to Gallup, 54% of employees in the United States are under the hybrid work model, and 27% are exclusively remote. For many, this is ideal…and the number of hybrid workers is only expected to rise over time.
When I speak to older generations, they think it’s a fate worse than death. How lonely, they say. How sad you must be to not have an office culture. What could you possibly do all day?
But, times have changed. We must adapt to the ever-growing popularity of virtual work…plus with outrageous office rents, more companies are opting to sell their spaces or break their leases and fully embrace the savings that remote work provides.
And while hybrid work can allow you to spend more time with your family and children and embrace a more flexible schedule, it can also be detrimental to many worker’s mental health.
The Blurred Lines Of Work-Life Balance
Nick Morrison via Unsplash
One of the major setbacks when working the hybrid lifestyle is that you often don’t know when to shut down your laptop. Sure, your hours are 9-5…and in an office, everyone is packing up and leaving at that exact time.
But when it comes to WFH, you can get away with much more. You can run errands during the day, do your laundry in the building or take a workout class you’ve always wanted to try, or a delicious nap you absolutely needed…and while these are fireable offenses in-office, you can make it up by working an extra hour or two at night in the comfort of your own home.
It’s that procrastinator mentality that causes you to struggle. Suddenly, you’re convinced you can work until late at night. And in some cases, employers ask you to.
I’ve heard horror stories from friends about how their bosses made them work until midnight…and that it was even included in her contract. Now that she’s granted the freedom to work from home, her hours are ambiguous.
Before you know it, you’re working intermittently-nonstop throughout the week with no clear routine. What used to be a 9-5 job is now 8:30-midnight…but there’s no overtime payment.
Feeling Isolated?
Whenever someone asks if I’m lonely while working from home…my immediate answer is no. I live in a small city where all of my friends are within a few blocks’ radius, and most of us work from home all week.
Beyond that, I have two roommates who also have the pleasure of working from home. So, I’m not missing out on human interaction by not going into an office. However, I know I’m a lucky case.
Everything’s subjective, so remote work can be an ideal solution for those who are anxious about commuting or being around new people. But for others, it can be equally anxiety-inducing to be stuck in their house day-in-day-out. According to SHRM,
“Fully remote (40%) and hybrid work (38%) are associated with an increased likelihood of anxiety and depression symptoms compared to in-person work (35%), according to an analysis by the Integrated Benefits Institute (IBI), an Oakland, Calif.-based nonprofit research organization,”
If your home isn’t a sanctuary, you may be overwhelmed by working from home. Whether it’s constant domestic interruptions, trouble staying focused, or feeling disconnected from colleagues or family members, it can be tough to balance.
Plus, the hybrid model implies a few days in the office and a few days at home. So, cultivating office relationships when you rarely see your coworkers in-person can be a battle.
An All or Nothing Mentality
Rivage via Unsplash
As a society, we seem to have adopted this “All or Nothing” mentality. We’re either all in on our work, all day and night, or we’re doing none of it. The lack of clear boundaries between work and real life has caused a huge pain point for many at-home workers.
While there are many factors that contribute to your capacity and bandwidth for work, it’s easy to burn out if you have no real regimen. Constantly working at any hour you wish will just end up building stress and draining time to yourself and for your loved ones.
So, before you snowball out of control because I’ve scared you out of the hybrid work model, don’t worry. Here are a few steps to alleviate the pain of working virtually and make it a bit more manageable and a lot less stressful.
How To Maintain Your Mental Health While Working Hybrid
Work From A Cafe
Unsplash
I know it may sound chaotic, but a good pair of noise-canceling headphones will do wonders. If it’s not a cafe, head outside with your personal hotspot, or even in a library.
The point is to find somewhere that isn’t your home, but isn’t your office either. Try a few places during the week and see what works best for you.
Schedule Time To Work
I get it, you have a lot you want to do in a day…and working from home makes that even more possible. But, you need to get into a routine of working (and not working) at the same time.
Schedule that workout class you’ve always wanted to try during your “lunch break.” Then after the class, you can eat as you work. Schedule small blocks of 30-minute breaks where you can accomplish a quick grocery run, put your laundry away, or whatever you want to do.
Get Outside More
Despite the fact that you’re working outside, fresh air and sunlight can give you a fresh outlook on life. Many people don’t get outside when they’re at their office jobs, so take advantage of the outdoors while you can.
Go for a walk a few times a day, even if it’s just around your block. Give yourself some time away from your screen and you’ll feel fantastic.
Meditate!
Katerina May via Unsplash
Meditation isn’t for everyone, I know. But, focusing on your breathing for as short as ten minutes can help calm your anxiety and lower stress levels. Downloading guided meditation apps is a terrific way to access thousands of guided meditations and talks that can help with any problem.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, disempowered, and out of control, meditation will help you disconnect from your problems, transcend them, and reassess how you want to act and react.
April 18 came and your taxes were not ready. So you filed a tax extension. Well, you should file an extension, if you haven't already. Form 4868 is one of easier tax forms to fill out and it will give you an extra six months to get your taxes together. Everyone is eligible for a tax extension. The extension gives you until October 17 to file your taxes, but keep in mind if you owe the IRS money; it is still due April 18. Once you've filed an extension, what happens next?
For one, you need to finish preparing your taxes. Keep a detailed order of notes for business, medical, mortgage, and debt expenses. File your taxes sooner than later. Just because the new due date is October 15, doesn't mean wait till then to file.
Form 4868 requires an estimate of how much in taxes you owe. If you don't owe the IRS money or are getting a refund, just be sure to file taxes by October 17. Since you've filed your extensions and you do not owe any money, you won't be hit with any penalties or fees. However, the longer you wait to file, the longer it will take to get a refund.
If you do owe money, if possible pay a portion or the entire amount when you file. If you have already paid taxes through your W-2 or paid taxes each quarter, you might not have to pay as much when you file the extension.
Not paying all the taxes you owe on time can lead to penalties and interest fees. The fees add up depending on how much you owe and how long you haven't paid the tax. Each month you don't pay, a .5 percent penalty is added to the tax. The maximum you can be charged on the late fee is 25 percent of the unpaid tax. On top of the late fee, interest will compound daily on your taxes.
There are several options for payment plans with the IRS. A free 120-day payment agreement is the best option if you can pay off the taxes in four months. Otherwise, an extra $52 is charged for a direct debit agreement or a$105 standard deduction agreement. Paying your taxes sooner than later can avoid more penalties and ruining your credit. You can be sent to jail if you're intentionally not paying your taxes—see Al Capone.
Imagine this: you marry the man of your dreams. You have two beautiful children with another on the way. You spend your days cooking gorgeous, nutritious meals for your family.... from scratch. You get paid to share your daily life and meals with people around the world. But here’s the catch: half of those people hate you. They accuse you of being anti-feminist, regressive, and promoting a right-wing agenda… Are they right?
For Nara Aziza Smith, model turned stay-at-home mother and wife of Lucky Blue Smith, this is her reality. She and her husband appear to live an idyllic life…At least according to their social media presence. Nara documents the elaborate meals she cooks for her family — making everything from cereal to mozzarella from scratch.
But sharing something as simple as your meals can turn someone from a TikTok sensation into a villain in an instant in this fickle social media landscape. Just ask Emily Mariko and her $100 tote bags. The Nara Smith controversy has begun, and people are calling her a toxic TikTok tradwife.
Who Is Nara Smith?
Nara Smith@NaraAzizaSmith via TikTok
Nada Aziza Smith is a model turned lifestyle influencer known for her cooking videos and marriage to model and Tumblr-era heartthrob, Lucky Blue Smith. Together they have two children (a girl named Rumble Honey Smith and a boy called Slim Easy Smith … yes, really) and another on the way.
@naraazizasmith comment your favorite names! #babynames #babynameideas #babygirl #babyboy #pregnancy ♬ original sound - Nara Smith
Nara began documenting her life, which mostly amounts to cooking for her family it seems, on TikTok and has garnered an obsessed cult of followers. From the intricacies of her dishes to the elaborate outfits and glam she wears to cook them, her life seems both simple and unattainable.
Before she was Lucky Blue Smith’s wife, Nara Smith was a model. Then known as Nara Pellman, she was just cutting her teeth in the industry when she met and married her now-husband. Over the past year, her videos have given her millions of followers across Instagram and TikTok. But even if their story is a fairytale, Nara’s content has become the face of the tradwife trend.
She’s known for making food from scratch — as in, making her own mozzarella and milk — and doing so in a full face of makeup in a gorgeous home with a gorgeous husband. But there’s way more to their story than meets the eye.
Lucky Blue Smith and Nara Smith’s Relationship
@naraazizasmith It’s been a while!🫶🏽 #whatieatinaday #fulldayofeating #husband #coupletok #homecooking #fypシ ♬ original sound - Nara Smith
Fellow model Lucky Blue Smith can never catch a break — his relationships and family life are always making headlines.
Before Lucky Blue Smith and Nara were married, he had a child named Gravity Blue with another model and current girlfriend of Joe Jonas, Stormi Henley. The controversy: they started dating when she was 26 and he was 18. Yikes.
But after being essentially groomed, Lucky found love with Nara. Nara is 22 or 23 (the internet isn’t sure), and Lucky is 25 — which is a less toxic age gap but also kind of scary. Like, she got married at 19/20 and had her first child at 20? In the words of many TikTok users, she should be at the club.
However, some people find this aspirational. And here lies the core of some of the Nara Smith controversy: is there a wrong and right way for a woman to act? Or are there certain pitfalls of youth that TikTok users are begging their younger counterparts not to fall into?
Is Nara Smith Mormon?
@naraazizasmith hi to everyone that‘s new or has been here since the beginning🫶🏽 #grwm #makeup #fypシ #chattygrwm #gettoknowme ♬ Chopin Nocturne No. 2 Piano Mono - moshimo sound design
Another interesting facet of their relationship: the Mormonism. Lucky Blue Smith was raised Mormon in Utah. Therefore, people are asking: Is Nara Smith Mormon, too? The answer: yes! She converted to Mormonism when the pair got married in February 2020.
This adds another layer to the Nara Smith controversy. Mormon mommy bloggers come under fire all the time for the values promoted in their content. Their communities have been called cultish, toxic, and regressive. No surprise that many #TradTok influencers are advocates for TradTok. Their Mormonism isn’t the problem itself … mostly. It’s the correlation between their religion and their prescriptive definitions of gender roles. Specifically, that women should be submissive, servile, and focused on having and rearing children. At least, this is the dominant viewpoint on TikTok.
Beyond their religion, the agency of conservative, regressive values and Mormonism should give viewers pause for concern. At the very least, it should be a reminder that what works best for her life and her belief system might not be aspirational for all of us.
The problem isn’t Nara Smith or any of these other TradTok creators — it’s the ecosystem of influencers who promote a glamorized version of a lifestyle that, in practice for most people, is not just unattainable — but potentially dangerous.
The Problem with this “How to Be a Trad Wife” Content
Some might say there’s no problem with the uptick in TradWife content — and perhaps that could be true in a vacuum. However, things are pretty dire right now. Roe v Wade was overturned, leading to a ripple effect of dangerous policies, ignorant legislation, and disappearing protections for women. Add that to the recession and the fact that it’s harder for female entrepreneurs to make a living, and you get a less glamorous picture of girlhood than Barbie or the TradTok girls have shown you.
In this regressive landscape, the return to traditional values and gender roles has echoes of Trumpism and other conservative ideologies. So it’s no surprise — really — that it’s getting increasingly popular now.
At the heart of the Tradwife trend is a desire most of us can resonate with — not having to worry. It’s also why the Cottagecore and Old Money trends took off the way they did. People want to escape their pedestrian woes and either disappear to some remote farmland somewhere or fly away on a private jet, Succession style — or both.
Instead of juggling tasks and responsibilities, the Tradwife isn’t worried about the bills or working a boring job like the rest of us. According to her, she’s got it all figured out. But by ceding responsibility to some guy, the tradwife also often gives up her agency. Here are just a few of the reasons why the #Tradwife trend is so problematic.
It assumes housework is not work.
When you watch Nara Smith make her decadent dishes from scratch, you see an abbreviated version. What passes in 30 seconds on TikTok is the culmination of hours of cooking that we don’t see. Not to mention the cleaning up, the childcare, the general house maintenance, and family management. These things aren’t the peaceful life free of responsibility that TradTok is showing you. It’s a job. And the people you see on TikTok likely have hired or family help to make it all happen, and keep the house clean.
The cost of living crisis means most couples can’t live on a single salary
If you want to sell your soul for a traditional life, you have to do so with someone who can afford to support you and themselves. And, like many creators, some kids, too. To be able to support a full family and the assistance mentioned above, you would need a partner who makes a lot of money — and those are few and far between. Even so-called stable and lucrative jobs like tech and finance have been vanishing by the minute.
Plus, statistically, people are most likely to marry someone in their social class. That means that the men who can afford to support these lifestyles will likely end up with women who have money themselves, too. And if these are many of the women on TradTok, then you shouldn’t compare your lives to theirs. You’ll find yourself very disappointed.
It often leaves women with no security or safety net
Whether women come into these relationships with or without money of their own, the most dangerous facet of the TradWife trend is how it advocates women to control their money. Which is to say, it encourages women to give up control of their money. However, this is catastrophic for women who entrust a partner who mismanages their money or divorces them and leaves them without any resources. However you decide to treat your finances in your relationship, one person should not have complete visibility over them. You should know what’s going on in your bank accounts, and have a safety net set aside if nothing else.
The Tradwife vs Feminist Discourse
Of course, whenever you raise these concerns on TradTok, the comments will crucify you for being a bad feminist or elitist. “Not everyone wants to be a girlboss,” they say. And for Generation Z, that’s certainly true. While Millenials were raised with inflated expectations of themselves and the world around them, Gen Z inherited a very bleak career landscape. While many Millenials came of age during the 2009 financial crisis, shattering their lofty dreams, Gen Z started entering the workforce during the pandemic.
Now, Gen Z is more likely to have a side hustle or freelance to earn additional income. Yet, most of them do not feel hopeful about their financial future. This is because they are not going above and beyond for the sake of girlbossing — not for the most part, anyway. But rather, it’s become so hard to just get by that Gen Z have to supplement their own income just to survive.
Burnt out in their early twenties, of course this is a generation that dreams of lounging around the house with no responsibility. Of course, we never want to look at a bill again. But the TradTok solution of signing your life away to a man helps no one — not even yourself in the long run.
TradTok advocates say that real feminism is about letting women have choices — and say that if they do choose, women can choose to be traditional. While this is true, the type of lifestyle they advocate for strips women of their agency, which is the real cornerstone of feminism.
If women want to stay at home, bake like Nara Smith, perform housework, and do other non-career-related paths, let them eat cake! However, they should only do so if they have the security to plan for their future and financial visibility.
So yes, I’ll keep watching Nara Smith’s TikToks. But I do so hoping she has her own bank account. And I don’t wish I was her — if anything, I wish I was those kids!
But the easy access to TikTok financial advice also promises to help young people actually understand their finances and avoid the many potential pitfalls of being young. After all, we don’t learn personal finance advice in school — even those who study finance as a career aren’t taught about personal finance.
What is FinTok? Why does Gen Z love FinTok?
A 2022 survey by the National Endowment for Financial Education revealed that only 14% of adults claimed to have access to financial education in high school. As a result, young people entering the workforce or trying to take the next steps in their lives and careers, find themselves not knowing how to make their salaries work for them. TikTok democratizes the best financial tips. No gatekeeping, just unfiltered advice. But not all of it is worth taking.
Betterment found that, in 2023, 65% of Gen Z and 55% of millennials get financial advice from social media. These generations have inherited an unpredictable and, frankly, disappointing economy where the benchmarks for success seem further away than ever. The retirement age is slowly getting pushed back, the weight of student loans feels like an inescapable burden, and the American dream of owning a house? Forget about it. Plus the looming threat of climate change and/or societal collapse makes young people wonder if there will even be a future to save for.
In the words of Timothee Chalamet: “It's tough to be alive now. I think societal collapse is in the air — it smells like it.”
Navigating the world of personal finance as a college student or early professional in this landscape seems daunting. It’s much more tempting to throw your hands up and focus on enjoying the moment rather than saving for a future that’s not promised. This might sound morbid, but Gen Z is having fun with it. Hence the rise of trends like “I can get my money back but I’ll never be young again,” or the ubiquity of “girl math” and little treats. While these impulses aren’t bad, when they’re paired with an avoidant relationship to your money, they can spiral into potentially ruinous circumstances. You don’t want to “little treat” yourself into mountains of credit card debt.
That’s why having a baseline understanding of personal finance is a crucial step toward financial independence. Don’t let the arrogant finance bro in your life tell you that you need to be day-trading stocks or investing in crypto. But also, don’t fall into the trap of avoiding looking at your bank account. Finance TikTok, aka FinTok, can offer valuable insights via personal finance videos if you approach it with a healthy dose of skepticism.
What is the benefit of FinTok?
I like to think of FinTok as a launch point. Buzzwords like “HYSA” and “S&P 500” (we’ll get to those later) are quick tips that are most useful when paired with in-depth financial education. Whether you head online to read articles about the concepts TikTok feeds you — and find out which ones might just be MLMs — or you turn to audiobooks and podcasts (anything but Dave Ramsay, PLEASE), FinTok helps demystify your money in an accessible, unintimidating way.
TikTok finance advice also focuses on small steps you can make now to help set you up for your future. Instead of fear-mongering and telling you to cut out all pleasure until you have $100k in the bank, TikTok financial advice often revolves around tips that take less than an hour to complete but can ear you tens of thousands in the long run — seriously.
FinTok can also help you create financial goals. Instead of the generic “save more” New Year’s resolution, many creators are making trackers and teaching you how to use tools to get super clear on what your financial life could look like. And since Gen Z values freedom and autonomy more than any other generation, many of these creators are factoring that into their work. Instead of saving for traditional goalposts, they’re teaching you how to travel for free or how to afford designer items without going broke. With goals ranging from paying off student loans and building an emergency fund to dipping toes into the world of investments, FinTok has created a subculture where young people can find creators who have achieved the goals they want to and learn directly from them.
These influencers, often in their 20s or early 30s, share their financial journeys, tips, and pitfalls in a relatable context. Drawing from their lived experiences, popular creators are often self-made millionaires at 30 or savvy savers in their mid-20s. This phenomenon underscores a shift in the traditional paradigm of financial education. It also creates the problem of many creators spouting whatever nonsense that comes to their head — some of it even dubiously legal. So while you shouldn’t start necessarily start house-hacking like the unethical landlords of TikTok or writing off expenses you don’t qualify for on your taxes, TikTok is a great place to get beginner financial advice.
Surprisingly good financial basics popular on TikTok
TikTok helps you acknowledge the gaps in your financial knowledge. After all, you don’t know what you don’t know. Geared for basics and quick tips, the best TikTok financial advice helps you build a solid financial foundation. Lots of accounts end up saying the same thing because the basics are the basics. They’re pretty universal, and when they work, they work. So before you do anything else, try these tips.
Here is some of the best TikTok financial advice to guide your journey:
Budgeting doesn’t have to be boring:
TikTokers are rebranding the budget. Instead of telling you to skip out on everything that makes your life worth living, they are telling you that budgeting is just having a “spending plan” for your money. Think of it this way: most people know about how much money they have coming in, but most people don’t know where it goes. A budget comes in to help you plan how much money you want to allocate to your groceries and how much you want to spend on fun categories like eating out, getting coffee, and shopping. Without the shame of spending on fun and by breaking the stigma of budgeting, you can make a plan to live your life while still setting aside some savings.
Monthly (or weekly) money resets:
TikTok loves a reset. I binge the productive Sunday reset content while rotting in my bed on weekends. But one habit I have implemented is the money reset where I sit down, review my finances, and make a plan for the next month. This one goes hand in hand with budgeting. I review my budget against my purchases, see where I stuck to my guidelines, and make adjustments if necessary. It keeps me accountable and lowkey it gets me excited about reaching my goals. Current savings goal: save up for a luxury wellness vacation this summer.
@breakyourbudget 2023 is the year of financial consistency & routines #personalfinance
Sinking Funds:
I used to save all my money in one big savings account. It was connected to my checking account and I would dip into it more often than I like to admit. However, TikTok taught me about the concept of sinking funds or savings buckets. For example, many of us have different savings goals. We want to save for travel, but we also want to have some rainy-day cash in the bank. All of that money shouldn’t just be lumped together. Sinking funds help you visualize where your money is going. I set up direct deposit transfers to each of my sinking funds from every paycheck so I’m saving for my next holiday in a separate bucket as my pet insurance. They also help make big goals feel more achievable. For example, my goal for my travel sinking fund is $2000. I gave myself 20 weeks and each Friday, I automatically transfer $100 into the account. That way, I don’t spiral into credit card debt when it’s time to book my trip. Another pro tip: use an online bank separate from your checking account to store your sinking funds so it’s harder to dip into on a whim.
Emergency Fund:
Your most important savings account is an Emergency Fund aka a rainy day fund. An emergency fund provides a financial safety net that everyone should have. TikTokers harp on this one for a reason. It’s the difference between living paycheck to paycheck and being financially secure. Most Americans couldn’t cover a $1000 emergency. And in this economy, people lose their jobs in an instant. The pandemic taught us that. Aim to save at least three to six months of living expenses — which includes things like your rent, your grocery budget, and necessary bills, especially if you have dependents — and keep it in a high-yield savings account.
High Yield Saving Accounts (HYSA):
A HYSA is your savings account, but better. Big banks have no incentive to offer you rewards for opening a savings account with them. Smaller banks, usually digital banks, want to convert customers and they do it by offering interest on your savings account. Most big banks give you about 0.01% interest. Meanwhile, you could be earning up to 5% interest just for moving your money to a new bank. And if you have a $10,000 emergency fund earning $500 interest for doing nothing, that adds up.
@deeperthanmoney No but like I NEED to know, do you have a HYSA???? if not comment “me” below and I will send you a link to a free training!!!
Making Investing Easy:
While investing might sound complex, robo-investing makes it easy. Many new platforms allow you to auto-invest in index funds and ETFs depending on your goals and risk tolerance. You can start with as little as $1. If this still sounds scary, TikTokers can help you understand the merits of investing early and wisely — just don’t take individual stock advice from random people on the internet.
