"It's the most wonderful time of the year," Andy Williams sings in the classic carol, but it's also the most expensive. Between hosting and attending holiday parties (wine for the hostess! new sparkly top!), gifts, and travel, the bill for holiday bliss can be a big one, which leaves you with more than family dynamics to stress about. (Most Americans rank holiday shopping as more stressful than traveling or spending time with extended family, according to a survey from e-commerce platform Needle.)

And here's what makes it worse: in a study from Credit Karma, more than half of respondents said they'd impulse-shopped to deal with feelings of stress, anxiety or depression.

"Stress spending is a bit like having coffee while you are stressed: It's an impulsive behavior that you think will calm you down, but all it does is make you feel even more jittery and anxious," Teodora Pavkovic, a psychologist and life coach tells NBC News.

"It's a vicious cycle because our excessive holiday spending plunges us deeper into debt, which then increase our feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt and shame," says Kelli Saginak, a life coach and professor, told the site.

Online spending in the U.S. is likely to grow nearly 15 percent in 2018 to a total of $124.1 billion. That's a lot of Tickle Me Elmos and Fidget Spinners. But don't worry, you can keep your holiday spending in check by avoiding these pitfalls.

You Don't Make a Budget

Savings for Christmas Shopping Clark & Washington

Got a holiday budget of $1,000? Sorry, that's not good enough. You also need to break that number down by person, Zaneilia Harris, author of Finance 'n Stilettos and president of Harris & Harris Wealth Management told US New and World Report. "The more organized you are and the more detailed you are, the better," she says.

It sounds like a job for excel, advises financial columnist Liz Weston. "Spreadsheets aren't exactly warm, fuzzy and cinnamon-scented," she wrote for the Associated Press. "But they allow us to see our total expected holiday spending and to make adjustments as necessary. (Adjustments are always necessary.)"

You Lean Hard on Credit Cards

Money Crashers

"Tons of research shows that people spend more money when they charge things," Kit Yarrow, professor emeritus at Golden Gate University and author of Gen BuY: How Tweens, Teens, and Twenty-Somethings Are Revolutionizing Retail told BankRate. "If you can pay with cash, you'll always be a little more aware of what those gifts cost."

You Let Your Emotions Get the Best of You

Timeline

Guilt gifting. Fear of missing out on a flash sale. When will turntables ever be this cheap again?!? Don't make yourself susceptible to the psychology of shopping.

If someone who wasn't on your budget gives you a gift, respond with a really thoughtful card or homemade gift—not by buying them an impulse bottle of fine Champagne. You want to show you value them, but that doesn't always require spending.

"What people have to remind themselves of is that money doesn't equal love or affection," Yarrow said.

Fire sales can also tap into our lizard brains and our fear of scarcity. Black Friday sales and weekend specials create emotionally charged and stressful shopping situations, and a fear of missing out can override common sense. "When everybody is grabbing for something, we feel we should be grabbing for it, too" she said.

Furthermore, don't let yourself be seduced by slashed prices and big savings, warns The Motley Fool. "If you buy a $500 dishwasher for $300, don't look at it as saving $200, view it as spending $300."

You Forget the Value of a Homemade Gift

Food in a Minute


"For some people, their love language is receiving things," Michelle Singletary, author of The 21-day Financial Fast: Your Path to Financial Peace and Freedom, told BankRate. Who's to say that "thing" can't be a homemade thing?

You can go big with a knit scarf or crocheted hat, or small with cookies, chocolate bark, jams, granola, homemade bread, soaps or candles. What about making beautiful, abstract watercolors and buying frames at Ikea? Aren't these gifts way more thoughtful than an Amazon gift card?

Or what about thoughtful vouchers? The parents of two-year-old twins will be overjoyed at a coupon for babysitting and your best friend would likely love lunch on you and a trip to the art museum.

You Fail to See the Big Picture

Small Business

A guaranteed way to spend your holidays feeling drained is to spend the next six weeks at the mall, looking for parking, and elbowing fellow shoppers out of your path at Williams-Sonoma. What makes the holiday season memorable is all the other stuff: fires, time with loved ones, twinkly lights, rich hot cocoa, and festive events.

Kelli Saginak suggests thinking about how to create a meaningful holiday season "with minimal stress on you, your body, and your bank account.: Ask yourself:

  • How do I really want to feel during the holidays?
  • What type of holiday do I really want to create and experience?
  • What conscious responsible actions will allow me to spread holiday cheer, lower my stress and not add to my money problems?

Celebrating is not the same as shopping, Mary Hunt, founder of DebtProofLiving.com and author of 7 Money Rules for Life, told Bankrate. What we enjoy is the ceremony and the feast of the senses.

"The sights and sounds of Christmas were the reason [my family] loved the mall," Hunt says. "So I would just take a few bucks in my pocket to get a hot chocolate and a cookie. Our purpose was to go see Santa, or to go see the decorations and ride the train." She also remembered the most memorable year being the cheapest.

"The best Christmas we ever had was when we decided to spend $100. The $100 goes fairly quickly. So what do you do for the rest of the season? You visit, you make hot chocolate. We spent the holiday with people and not in the stores. It was, by far, the best holiday ever."

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Quiet Quitting is the latest trend among Gen-Z TikTok that encourages setting boundaries at work

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Toni Morrison has an anecdote about her first ever job, which was cleaning some neighborhood woman’s house. The young Toni arrived home after work one day and expressed her troubles to her father. But he didn’t provide the sympathy she expected. Instead, he gave her something better — his advice:

“Listen. You don’t live there. You live here. With your people. Go to work. Get your money. And come on home.”

Years later, she wrote about this remarkable experience for the New Yorker and said, in hindsight, this is what she learned:

1. Whatever the work is, do it well—not for the boss but for yourself

2. You make the job; it doesn’t make you

3. Your real life is with us, your family

4. You are not the work you do; you are the person you are

What Morrison so eloquently articulated was setting boundaries. I revisited this piece during the pandemic when working from home ramped up in earnest. Back when work was one of the few things that anchored my day.

Without a physical office, the pandemic shattered the work/life balance for many people. There was no more of that physical separation that Morrison talked about. There is no coming home from work physically. There is no real life to come back to — just a manufactured commute to your laptop in your makeshift home office.

But, par for the course, Gen Z are navigating this boundaryless era using TikTok. While internet gurus promote hustle culture and constant online availability since you’re not getting face time with your managers, there’s a trend in town — “quiet quitting.”


@zaidleppelin On quiet quitting #workreform ♬ original sound - ruby


The trend arose from the depths of the pandemic. Layoffs, salary cuts, and furloughs proved that their employers did not care about their hard-working employees.

The Washington Post dubs quiet quitting as a fresh trem for an old phenomenon: employee disengagement. In many cases, it’s a response to burnout. For much of Gen Z, it’s a way of establishing healthy boundaries in the office and resisting the pressure of the rat race. After all, why work yourself to the bone for a company that just proved it’s ready and willing to let you go?

Despite the term’s negative connotations, Quiet Quitting can provide an empowering shift in thinking for employees.

For far too long, employees have been indoctrinated with a slew of toxic workplace advice. Faced with these old misconceptions and lacking job security or clear paths for advancement, Gen Z is untethering their identities from work.

Quiet quitting — therefore — might be a bit of a misnomer. These employers aren’t completely disengaged. They’re certainly not launching Flight Club-esque sabotage attempts on their employers. NO. Contrary to media panic, Gen Z understands the value of a job — the fickle market they entered ensured that. But they also understand the value of life.

They’re doing what they’re being paid for. Nothing more, nothing less.

According to Chief, a private membership network focused on connecting and supporting women executive leaders, older generations should learn from this approach.

“Gen Z has already endured the largest seismic shifts to the career landscape than any previous generation, having started their careers in the middle of a pandemic that changed office culture forever and a gig economy that makes piecing together work more viable. They’re taking both those realities and therefore demanding more autonomy and flexibility than any other generation.”

Gen Z are less attached to job titles and statuses. They’re more concerned about their lives. Sure, this can lead to problematic outlooks on money and experiences — see the “I can earn my money back” TikTok trend. But it’s better than hustling for no reward. Besides, as some Gen Z-ers put it on TikTok, the office isn’t even a vibe.

“With the ability to work from anywhere and for more than just one place, Gen Z-ers are forging their own paths that don’t rely on old patterns set by previous generations and are redefining what “career success” looks like. Gen Z can take note, as more and more leaders are similarly pursuing multiple income streams of their own through the form of a portfolio career. The way in which work looks like and where it happens is evolving.”

With less single-minded focus on one job, some TikTok business gurus advocate shutting your laptops precisely at 5 pm. And then jump onto your side hustle. Do nails or lashes on the weekend. Become social media managers for your phone. Sell soap on Etsy (again … perhaps not in the Fight Club way).

But this valorization of side hustles is not about hustle culture, either. They say job security isn’t guaranteed. Learning new skills and develop an alternate income stream/s to keep you afloat. Just make sure you’re not left in the lurch. BTW inflation is here. So every little bit helps.

But where do you start? Watching TikToks can only get you so far. Try a course on LinkedIn Learning to sharpen up your skills and learn new ones that you can turn into a verifiable side hustle — or leverage in your job search if quiet quitting leads to … real quitting.

Learn on your own time with bite-sized videos or in-depth courses. Watch them after work, before you clock in, or on your lunch break. Then, after your courses are complete, you’ll have certificates prominently displayed on your profile that prove your skills.