When Kim Kardashian and Ye — then still known as Kanye West — announced their divorce, I did not bat an eye. Rumors had been flying for a while and — after a couple of suspicious Halloween costumes and Ye’s increasing Kim-targeted rants — divorce seemed inevitable.
I pretty much forgot about the announcement then, and I thought the divorce would be just as insignificant to me as your garden-variety celebrity split. Boy, was I wrong.
I don’t know what I expected given that Ye — the man notorious for interrupting Taylor Swift’s VMA speech because he believed she didn’t deserve to win — is not the most graceful loser. But his divorce is one confusing, messy spectacle we’re all forced to bear witness to, despite our attempts to ignore it. We have much more important things to focus on like Rihanna’s pregnancy or the latest Zoe Kravitz movie — now I spend my days saying "uncuh gyams" on repeat (IYKYK).
Frankly, their past few months have been a brazen press tour rather than a divorce. Each news story features a complex web of egoism, sexism, and even racism — from Kim’s problematic SNL monologue and that Blackfishing Vogue cover to Kanye’s manipulative Instagram posts. We refuse to mention the Super Bowl Instagram posts.
As the former power couple have battled it out in the public eye, their replacement relationships — or on Ye’s part, his faulty parachute relationship — have caught the public’s attention. Kim’s with the people’s favorite stand-up comic and serial monogamist, Pete Davidson; and Ye’s now-defunct tryst with actress Julia Fox has busted up completely.
Both new partners have been plagued by intense media scrutiny, but public perception of them is quite different. Why? Sexism.
Pete Davidson is well known for dating some of the most desirable women in Hollywood. While many wonder what exactly draws them to him — sometimes cruelly judging his appearance — he’s mainly applauded for dating Kim. While the innate sexism of treating Kim like a prize to be won is its own issue, this is wildly divergent from how Julia Fox has been treated.
In a recent episode of Forbidden Fruits — Fox’s podcast with co-host Niki Takesh — Fox discussed her relationship with Ye and the press’s narratives surrounding it. Fox is unphased by the omnipresent negativity, saying: "People are like 'Oh, you're only in it for the fame, you're in it for the clout, you're in it for the money.' Honey, I've dated billionaires my entire adult life, let's keep it real."
Fox doesn’t find these media accusations surprising, and neither should we. The notion that she’s self-interested, ill-intentioned, and clout-chasing comes from the ingrained idea that women who want more are bad.
Too often, women are systematically discouraged from seeking success and penalized when they do — especially if they’re brazenly shameless about it. According to money expert, Stefanie O’Connell-Rodriguez, women are punished for seeking advancements or — heaven forbid — positions of power.
O’Connell-Rodriguez refers to this as the ambition penalty, saying: “The problem with this messaging is it implies that a woman’s primary obstacle to economic power is herself, and that inequities in pay and wealth result from our own behavior. There’s no acknowledgment of how women are often penalized for pursuing their ambitions.”
To combat the ambition penalty, it’s important for society to see prominent examples of women acting ambitiously, and getting rewarded for it. Changing the culture isn’t merely about telling women to take “just” out of their emails and apologize less. It’s about demanding equitable representation and tearing down prevailing structures of oppression.
When it comes to personal finances, women are increasingly challenging notions that they’re hopeless with money and they shouldn’t have control over it anyway. The Confessions of a Shopaholic spiraling? The Carrie Bradshaw cluelessness? These tropes are long out of fashion.
Instead, it’s increasingly common to see women in pop culture claiming their financial independence. Instead of “can you pay my bills” — sorry Destiny’s Child — female artists are declaring their ability to pay their own bills and demanding respect for their financial achievements.
Despite the slowly shifting ties, cultural phenomena such as this drawn-out divorce remind us of how far there is left to go.
While Julia is branded an opportunist, Pete is considered a hero. And it’s not just Julia under the microscope. Kim has been equally accused of being with Pete for PR reasons and engineering the relationship for her own gain.
In both cases, the women are viewed as greedy and shamed about how their relationships might be in their self-interest.
Fox won’t let those accusations merely bounce off her — she’s embracing them. If she can have fun dating Ye while advancing her career, why not? “Why not see me for what I am which is a #1 hustler,” she told The Cut. After announcing their split on Valentine's Day, Fox is only just beginning to demonstrate her own vision, rather than being subject to the press — or Ye.
Despite Ye’s public parade of Kim look-alikes and his manipulative attempts to coerce her back into his life, no one questions his motives. And despite serious doubts about the legitimacy of Pete’s alliance with Kim, accusatory fingers are never pointed in his direction.
The ambition gap paints women with one brush, blinding us to the nuance in their actions. While both relationships increase the couples’ fame, the women are the ones called out for it. So what if there is a PR element to these curious couplings? Celebrity relationships have never been the exemplars of purity and virtue. This, we expect. But we shouldn’t have to expect sexism too.
In a perfect world, I’d simply discount the goings-on of KimYe, JulYe, and whatever we’re calling Kim and Pete. But the blatant sexism and problematic narratives surrounding these pairings is a glaring reminder of society’s larger issues.
Everyone knows we need to save our money. Some of us might even believe we make savvy financial decisions when we skip the occasional impulse buy, or pat ourselves on the back when we refrain from buying yet another pair of ripped blue jeans.
For many, the reason they can’t save money is they’re too afraid to face their finances. We worry that we’ll never be good savers and live in fear of our bank balances. There’s a culture of shame surrounding what “they” label “stupid” money decisions. Not to mention the constant anxiety about not saving enough. All this creates a negative feedback loop that inhibits people from learning about their money habits.
This shame is the prevailing narrative surrounding money advice. Far too many money experts are older white males — wagging their fingers at pesky Millennials and self-centered Gen Zers, making idiotic decisions and not buying houses.
Yet younger generations are saddled with outrageous debt. As inflation rates and housing markets rise — that outdated American dream of the Colonial house and picket fence becomes absolutely unattainable. So, when it feels like there’s no goal in sight, it’s tempting to take the nihilistic approach and spend-spend-spend rather than saving. Don’t forget, these generations are coming of age in the “YOLO” era.
In authors Emma Pattee and Stefanie O'Connell’s CNBC article “Personal finance advice relies on shame; what if we tried empathy?” They say: “From the over-simplified math of David Bach’s “The Latte Factor,” to Dave Ramsey’s condemnation of nearly all debt, to the media’s obsession with extreme frugality and early retirement, the message is clear: If you’re struggling financially, you only have yourself to blame. In this mythology, only once an individual takes full responsibility for their situation, will they be able to make the so-called right choices in order to achieve financial prosperity.”
You can’t simply put on a Joe Rogan podcast and magically change your life. Let’s just get to the point and actually speak about the main thing keeping people down: capitalism. So until we get rid of that, inequality will persist and the small-minded powers that be will blame the people suffering from it and for it.
However, it’s not all revolution or Rogan. There is a middle ground. By overcoming your fears you’ll be better equipped to take a peek at your finances and address the issues that are buried there. Rather than restricting yourself by a word like budget, try the term spending plan. It combines the thrill of spending with the intelligence of a plan. With this new term and ideology to hand, perhaps you’ll be able to set aside your money to save.
A spending plan isn’t intimidating — especially with the help of apps like Meet Cleo, which keep it real and keep you on track. By doing what a good friend would, the Meet Cleo finance app will help you to face the numbers and actually do something with them. You don’t have to make a mortgage your goal, but socking the money away can’t hurt.
Here are 6 ways you can shave down those numbers on your spreadsheet and cut costs:
Rent
No, I won’t be plugging the house hacking trend here — wannabe millionaire landlords exploiting the lack of affordable housing is not a fun investment strategy for me. However, rent is usually people’s biggest expense. If you can reduce this, it goes a long way to helping you save.
A lot of people don’t know that you can negotiate your rent. Instead of meekly accepting the price offered, you can present your landlord with a figure that works better for you. In a competitive housing market, this will be less effective. But some buildings offer incentives like a few months free. See if you can snag one of these deals. If your lease is almost up, try to renegotiate your rent. It costs landlords a lot to move you out and identify a replacement tenant when it would be cheaper to keep you. Give it a try. What do you have to lose but a couple of hundred dollars shaved off your living expenses.
Groceries
After rent, food is our second-largest expense. Between groceries and eating out — we’ll get to that — what we eat plays a huge factor in how we spend. While many people will tell you to head to Costco or Walmart to shop in bulk, take a breath and consider your shopping needs. Bigger isn’t always better when you buy more than you can eat because you think you’re getting a deal. It’s clear that bulk shopping isn't the answer for everyone. Shop smarter, not bigger. Go to the grocery store with a list and stick to it. To keep it interesting, maybe allow yourself one spontaneous buy, but trust me. Lists are law.
Eating Out
Like with grocery shopping, the key to curbing impulse shopping is allowing room in your spending plan for small indulgences. Allow for dinner out or delivery once or twice a week, then no more. That way, you’ll eat all the weekly groceries and truly savor those meals out. Two birds, one stone.
You Guessed It … The Latte
Joe Rogan and Co. will tell you that the daily Starbucks run is ruining your life. However, if there’s room for it in your spending plan, go ahead and keep your Starbs if it really lifts your day. For some, taking a walk to their local coffee shop is all that kept them going during the pandemic — and even now. But if hitting your local cafe is a mindless habit that you don’t value, sure, replace it with coffee at home. The key is intentionality, not punishment. Keep your small indulgences within the parameters of your spending plan.
Clothes
Do you have a wardrobe full of clothes but still feel like there’s nothing you can wear? That means your clothes aren’t following the rules of intentionality, as outlined above. Instead of hopping on microtrends and buying everything on the sale rack, take your time and consider how it will fit into your daily life before purchasing.
Subscriptions
Challenge to you right now: list everything you think you’re subscribed to right now. Then go through your credit card statements and itemize all the actual subscriptions. I guarantee you’ll find some you’ve totally forgotten about. Unsubscribe to them immediately. Too often, we forget what we signed up for and end up paying for it months or even years after the free trial is over. Then check through what’s left. Do you need every single streaming service? Do you need every single app? Your screentime and your savings will thank you.
La Residencia, a Belmond Hotel, Mallorca
Recently, I wrote a piece about the genius of shopping for swimsuits during the winter. In it, I championed the benefits of buying swimwear now. It’s smart to take advantage of the off-season sales so you’re extra-prepared for summer. Part of what led me to this discovery is my penchant for mood boarding.
The mood-board — aka vision board — is my staple way to express my creativity, exercise my personal style even when winter restricts my fashion sense to thick sweatpants and puffer jackets. It’s time to get excited for activities and celebrations that are months away.
Creating mood-boards to bring summer closer led me to buy my latest swimsuit at a fraction of the price. This simple action sent my imagination soaring. I clearly envisioned the pools I’ll swim in, the oceans and lakes I’ll plunge into, and the boardwalks I’ll strut about on while flaunting my leopard, plunged-neck bikini.
So — six months in advance — I’ve effectively pulled my summer plans together. I’ve always been a planner as it goes a long way to actually achieving whatever I’m meticulously planning, be it a goal or an awesome trip.
However, this summer’s arrangements are more fraught than ever, as my imagined itineraries ride on the hope that there’s not yet another COVID variant looming in the wings. One that cancels my flights and banishes me back to my apartment. But — in the spirit of positive thinking — I'm not going to let logic obscure my vision. I intend to go full-speed-ahead with my dreams.
Currently on my list: La Residencia, a Belmond Hotel, Mallorca
Starting early also means I have clarity about my budget. This provides greater incentive to save money this year. I have more options than ever before. Flights are cheaper, hotels will welcome me with open arms, and my inspiration awaits.
Here are some of my tips for planning your dream vacation:
Dream Big!
Even before I started making concrete plans, I’ve already stockpiled ideas for future vacations for a future self. The pandemic taught me that life is too short to wait on those enjoyments for a future me. So, I’m taking the plunge and setting out on one of my bucket-list vacations rather than settling for a more local trip.
Save-Save-Save
In order to make my biggest dreams happen without falling into credit card debt, I’m putting aside money every month that goes towards my vacation. Before making non-essential purchases, I ask myself: would I prefer another iced coffee from my neighborhood cafe or a croissant and coffee in Paris? Chipotle or a gourmet meal in Mexico? Put that way, the choice is simple.
A app like Meet Cleo makes the money part a little easier and seriously keeps me accountable for my spending. After all, there’s no better way to stop those credit-card-swipes my credit card than depending on an app that keeps it real. Meet Cleo reminds me of my regrettable purchases before I rack up another one.
Plan EVERYTHING
In arranging my itinerary, I don’t just plan hotels and flights, I plan out every single day. Sure, I leave time to explore neighborhoods and wander through museums and stores. But even that time is scheduled. This helps me visualize more clearly what I’m going to do, but it also provides a realistic ballpark budget. When and where will I need to flag a cab? How efficient is public transit? How can I schedule my days most efficiently and cost-effectively?
Shop Smart
Leaving seasonal shopping to the last minute often leads to panic buys, overpaying, and desperately buying forgotten items at the airport. Shop smart, and start shopping today. Taking cues from my swimwear hack, I have price alerts on critical purchases so I’m notified whenever there’s a sale.
That means no more frantic airport shopping for me — my Meet Cleo app will be proud.
Let’s face it: this sucks.
After a massive vaccine campaign, a pretty successful hot-vax summer, and a pre-holiday season which made us believe things would finally-finally be getting back to normal, we were introduced to the Omicron variant.
As booster shots slowly rolled out, none of us were prepared for how hard and how fast this surge would hit. Unlike other variants, Omicron is more resistant to the vaccine and is infecting even those with booster shots and antibodies.
And it’s really effing scary.
Places like New York are teetering on the edge of another lockdown as restaurants close, offices shut down, and events get canceled. In short: it feels like March 2020 again.
In the words of the perpetually relatable Olivia Rodrigo: “do you get deja vu?” Yes, Olivia, we do.
There are some differences to this surge. Luckily most people — especially the vaccinated among us — are experiencing mild symptoms. While numbers are up, hospitals are not as overwhelmed as they were when the virus first slammed us.
However, this time, many of us are experiencing pandemic burn out — mentally and financially.
When the pandemic first began, no one could have imagined how long it would last. Many people who were furloughed or working from home saw it as taking a few weeks off to relax and unwind. Obviously, this was not the case. Rates of unemployment skyrocketed and some were forced to move out of their homes to save money or take other dramatic, unexpected measures.
What did this look like? Burning through savings accounts, plunging into credit card debt, and adopting the precarious paycheck-to-paycheck cycle. According to CNBC “42% of U.S. adults with credit card debt have increased those balances since the Covid-19 pandemic began in March 2020.”
And while employment rates are up in 2021 and the Great Resignation has seen people seeking and finding better opportunities, the Omicron surge proves it’s not all sunshine and rainbows.
In a recent money confessional on Slate’s “Pay Dirt” column, one reader expressed their frustration at the financial setbacks they experienced during the pandemic. While they were not totaled by the changes, they had to drastically adjust their life plans.
The columnist responded: “A lot of people had their dreams shattered in 2020 … Just because your situation isn’t the same as your more-hard-hit co-workers’ doesn’t mean that you aren’t grieving the loss of your income,” giving us all permission to feel the negative feelings. They continued: “Toxic positivity is very real in the United States and inspires a lot of people to say that no matter what their life is like, they should be happy … But you can be happy and grateful, yet still, acknowledge the suck in a situation.”
This perspective reflects a necessary shift that we all need to make. Especially as we approach yet another perilous year in the land of Covidia. It’s soooo hard to continue — and continue and continue — being grateful and not be, quite frankly, fed up. So what can we do about it?
As everything is spiraling out of control, there are small things you can do to feel less overwhelmed. And maybe, less bitter, sad, or resentful — provide room to process and accept this unfortunate reality as best you can.
Feel Your Feelings
Toxic positivity festers when we assume we should feel a certain way and don’t pause to let ourselves feel our negative feelings. Emotion comes from the Latin emovere - to "move out, remove, agitate." If we really break it down we get ex "out" + movere "to move." What does that mean to us living in America in the early days of 2022? Get those negative emotions outta here. Feel them and move ‘em out.
Then take a deep look, free from judgment, at how you’re actually doing in your day-to-day life. Try daily journaling, or delve into meditation.
Take Stock of your Life
Often, without realizing it, we fall into habits that become patterns and routines that eventually become our whole lives. So, when these habits are disrupted …. by, I don’t know, a global pandemic … we’re shaken out of our comfort zone and into reality. Take a glance at your life. What are you actually, truly, grateful for? What is mere distraction?
Make a Plan
Our spending habits are the first thing to spiral out of control and the most difficult to course-correct. If you’re worried about your financial health during this time — or you want to be more vigilant just in case — try the Cleo app. This holistic service manages your money for you and helps you gain control and improve your situation. Managing your money no longer feels like a chore, and it’s actually fun!
All in all, Meet Cleo makes you feel like you have a handle on your finances. And in these uncertain times, just being aware of your standing can offer a world of comfort. With Meet Cleo as your side, you no longer have to cave to toxic positivity. This app keeps it real and chats with you like your honest, most blunt friend. And for that, we thank her.
Find out more about Cleo here and put yourself on the path to financial control.
