Talking about your finances with your family is already hard. But telling them you can't afford to go home for the holidays is the conversation you're absolutely dreading. But you aren't alone. According to a recent Wallethub survey, 33 million Americans don't have the funds for holiday travel this year.
"U.S. consumers will be shelling out billions of dollars in extra charges they otherwise could be spending on other things such as travel," Mark A. Bonn, director of the resort and vacation rental management program at Florida State University, tells TravelPulse. "This makes it difficult to travel now, let alone after the holiday spending has ended."
If traveling home isn't an option this Christmas, it's time to talk about it with the fam. It isn't always easy, but it might just be a chance to open a larger conversation that will deepen your relationship.
"Talking about finances with family can be awkward," Laura J. Pilz, a Merrill Lynch financial advisor tellsUS News and World Report, "but the holidays present a perfect opportunity to have a short discussion with family members on tough topics like this." So how do you break the news to the folks? Here's a handy guide.
It may be tempting to have as little human interaction as possible, but when it comes to a topic that's as emotionally triggering as not coming home for the holidays, a phone conversation is essential. Email and text can be easily misinterpreted as either hostile or insensitive. So do everyone a favor and set up a time for a good-natured talk.
"Call at a time when you are available to have a full conversation, not in the five minutes between meetings," suggests Susan Fales-Hill, etiquette columnist forTownandCountryMagazine. "You want to give your loved ones the time to express what they feel, not make the announcement to them and hang up, like that lover who dumped you via text message."
Explain Your Financial Situation Now...and Your Plans For 2019
The next step is to have an open and honest conversation about your finances. Show that you've done your research: know the cost of a roundtrip ticket and added expenses, and what it means with respect to your debt or limited cash flow. Be open about how this trip isn't responsible for you to take this year, and then shift the conversation into how you're making changes so that next year you can make the journey. Whether it's taking proactive measures in your job search or saving up enough to meet financial goals for the following year, it's crucial to ease your family's concerns about your current status.
Prepare For Hard Questions
No matter what you say, you're bound to raise some concerns. Remember: it's not judgment, it's love. Don't be defensive, be informative. Write down a few responses to questions you're expecting ahead of time, in order to further ease their worries rather than fuel them.
If you're currently out of work, present your plans to change your current situation before the question, "when are you getting a job" even comes up. "I might preempt it," Jodi R.R. Smith, founder of the etiquette consultancy Mannersmith, tells AOL. "I can say, 'I'm doing great, I'm working on some temporary assignments that might turn into work.'"
If you're one of the 57 million freelancers in America right now, chances are your income isn't as steady as if you were working one full-time corporate gig. "My biggest stress with family around the holidays is being judged," freelancer journalist and publicist Wanda Felicita Ortiz tells Refinery29. "I try to stress that my work is just as valid as that of people who work one job full-time — it's not that people freelance because they're 'lazy.'" Take some time to explain how your business works, how you're hustling now and what the returns will mean in the long-term.
Give the Conversation a Positive Spin
If this is the first time you're being truly open about your finances, lean into that narrative. Tell your folks you want to be able to talk to them about this topic moving forward and even glean their advice now and in the future.
"Talking about money openly and honestly throughout the year helps to make it less taboo to have those discussions around the holidays," financial coach Emily Shutt tells Chimebank. "If it's treated as a normal dialogue, it will become just that."
Be there in Spirit
Just because you can't make it home this year, that doesn't mean you can't spread the love.
"Spending the holidays away from your family doesn't mean ignoring your folks, and it isn't an excuse to be inconsiderate," explains Slate's June Thomas. "If you exchange gifts, select them with the same attention you would if you were going to be present at the unwrapping, mail them to arrive in time for the holidays, and be sure to call home to wish everyone a Merry Christmas—at a designated time if you want to speak with as many family members as possible."
Don't Beat Yourself Up
Remember, you're not a bad person. You're doing the best you can under financial constraints that make it impossible to be everything to everyone. You don't have to apologize for your absence, but you can offer some consolation ideas that let your family know you love their company. Offer to host them for the holiday if they're willing to travel, or if that's not an option, make a tentative plan to visit for a belated celebration in the new year. Just make sure to end the conversation with three simple words: I love you.
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Every time payday rolls around, I’m on top of the world. Jeff Bezos-level rich - even though I’m anything but. And then somehow the very next day, rent is due.
The cycle continues. The next payday, bills for my apartment. I find myself without a surplus of savings since I just moved and newly-furnished my apartment completely.
Even more terrifying is the looming presence of the holiday season. Halloween’s officially over and before we know it, hello Thanksgiving…and then there’s Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year’s. It’s insane.
I’ve been feeling very British lately. Not in a Union-Jack-obsessed, “Keep Calm and Carry-On” way. I went through that phase in 2012 with everyone else… no thank you. And it’s not even a surge of patriotism catalyzed by the Queen dying — I’m firmly team Diana and team Meghan.
Now that fall is officially here, the holidays will sweep in and I’ll have to contend with the fact that I won’t be spending them with my family in the UK. I went home to London earlier this year, so there’s not much left in my travel budget for another trip across the pond. A few domestic jaunts might be in my future, but the closest I’ll get to England this winter is watching Love Island and Love, Actually.
So in that spirit, I’ve been filling my days with content from my favorite Brits. I’m listening to all the old British rock bands I grew up listening to, patiently awaiting the new Arctic Monkeys album, and rewatching anything with Michaela Coel in it. I even shipped myself an order of British Baked Beans, so you know it’s dire.
I’ve also been watching British YouTubers like Grace Beverley — my favorite. Generally, I only go on YouTube to watch Vogue Beauty Secrets and AD Open Door videos. But I’m so glad I stumbled on Grace. Her content is a mix of London lifestyle (what lured me in), relatable entrepreneurship, and mindful productivity. I’m not a hustle-and-grind-girlboss, but as a creative person in a 9-to-5, I need all the help I can get to stay plugged in. So, the video “how to be really really really productive without getting overwhelmed” changed my approach to WFH.
Grace outlines her own productivity method: the to-do table. Instead of making a simple to-do list, she divides her tasks into a table that anyone can follow. As someone who’s survived with to-do lists for years, I recently implemented Grace’s method, and it’s revolutionized my workdays.
how to be really really really productive without getting overwhelmedwww.youtube.com
I follow her routine to a tee. Here’s how it works:
Essentially, she divides her daily responsibilities into four categories: quick ticks, tasks, projects, and non-negotiables.
- Quick Ticks: Actions that take less than 5-minutes
- Tasks: To-do’s that take up to 30-minutes. Probably don’t take too much brain energy.
- Projects: Long-term list items. These help guide your priorities, even if you’re not crossing them off in one day.
- Non-negotiables: Pick 3 things each day that you must get done. This is how you’ll truly measure success.
With everything written down and sorted, next address your schedule. Meetings, deadlines, and time blocks — whatever works best for you. Write it down. Then make a pact with yourself to stick to them.
This way of categorization provides a roadmap for prioritizing your day — making you far more productive. Have you ever spent the entire day on small tasks and then suddenly realized you hadn’t moved the needle on any task? Or do you spend way too much time on tasks that aren’t a priority? No more. With your non-negotiables laid out, you know what to laser-focus on and what to dedicate energy towards.
Also, it pays to know your working style. I’m not a morning person. Yet, I have to be up and at ‘em super early. So, first thing in the morning, I march through my Quick Ticks to warm me up. I set a time limit, so I can knock out some easy wins which is totally inspiring. Then I move on to bigger things without lingering on emails or admin. For others, it might be more helpful to tackle the big things with all that early-in-the-day brain power earlier.
Grace has great tips on avoiding overwhelm and burnout. My favorite is taking more intentional breaks rather than scrolling through social media. I call this scrolling “productive” because I’m “coming up with pitches.” Oh, the lies we tell ourselves. It’s more productive in the long run to giving my brain a break with non-screen related stimuli.
Grace’s solution? Set a timer to read a real, an actual book. I’ve never thought of this. It’s a genius way to check off some books on my TBR and kickstart my creativity. After reading a good book, I’m completely inspired to write. So having books near my desk helps me step away from the computer during my lunch break for an actual reset. (And yes, the current books I’m reading are by British authors: Assembly by Natasha Brown, and Love in Color: Mythical Tales from Around the World, Retold by Bolu Babalolu.)
In my pursuit of switching out my WFH set-up and getting my life together, I’ve engineered my workstation for success. With my new WFH essentials and Grace’s productivity technique, I’m revitalized for work — despite the fall blues and my melancholy about the pending holidays.
Here are the things getting me hyped for work and helping me crush my Grace Beverley-inspired to-do tables — no lists in sight:
Southwest Airlines Sale 2022
Pack your bags — Southwest Airlines is having a major sale! Fares are as low as $59 one-way if you book by October 3rd.
This end-of-summer super sale is a game-changer for your travel plans through the end of the year. Summertime travel gets all the glory. But why not take advantage of your long weekends, holidays, and PTO this fall. You’ll be surprised at how much travel you can fit in. Keep the fall/winter season exciting with domestic trips that give you all the excitement without breaking the bank. All thanks to Southwest.
Here’s the breakdown:
Where can you go?
You’ll find discounted tickets to and from most airports. Sale fares apply to cross country travel, and even Hawaii, Mexico, and the Caribbean! Whether you’re visiting a new city or revisiting your last beach vacation, this sale has fares to make your travel dreams come true.
What do the fares cover?
Southwest Airlines has multiple fare tiers, each with various benefits. Wanna Get Away fares start at $59, while Wanna Get Away Plus fares start at $89. You can also find great deals on Anytime fares, which offer priority boarding and express lanes. Then there’s Business Select tickets for a luxe experience at an affordable price point.
Do you have to be a Southwest Rapid Rewards member?
You may think these sale fares are too good to be true. Is there a catch? Do you have to be a Southwest Rapid Rewards member to access them? You’re in luck — anyone can attain these fares for a limited time.
But, insider tip, you should consider signing up for Southwest Rapid Rewards. With a free sign up, you earn points and miles with each trip you take. And with this sale, each dollar you spend on these discounted tix can stretch super far until you eventually earn free travel. The only thing better than a sale is free stuff.
So pack your bags and brace yourself for those chaotic airport lines. Everyone’s hopping on this deal so get on it. Don’t miss out — grab your sale tickets by October 3rd!
I’ve been browsing the Southwest Airlines site, checking out flights and dreaming.