Talking about your finances with your family is already hard. But telling them you can't afford to go home for the holidays is the conversation you're absolutely dreading. But you aren't alone. According to a recent Wallethub survey, 33 million Americans don't have the funds for holiday travel this year.
"U.S. consumers will be shelling out billions of dollars in extra charges they otherwise could be spending on other things such as travel," Mark A. Bonn, director of the resort and vacation rental management program at Florida State University, tells TravelPulse. "This makes it difficult to travel now, let alone after the holiday spending has ended."
If traveling home isn't an option this Christmas, it's time to talk about it with the fam. It isn't always easy, but it might just be a chance to open a larger conversation that will deepen your relationship.
"Talking about finances with family can be awkward," Laura J. Pilz, a Merrill Lynch financial advisor tells US News and World Report, "but the holidays present a perfect opportunity to have a short discussion with family members on tough topics like this." So how do you break the news to the folks? Here's a handy guide.
It may be tempting to have as little human interaction as possible, but when it comes to a topic that's as emotionally triggering as not coming home for the holidays, a phone conversation is essential. Email and text can be easily misinterpreted as either hostile or insensitive. So do everyone a favor and set up a time for a good-natured talk.
"Call at a time when you are available to have a full conversation, not in the five minutes between meetings," suggests Susan Fales-Hill, etiquette columnist for Town and Country Magazine. "You want to give your loved ones the time to express what they feel, not make the announcement to them and hang up, like that lover who dumped you via text message."
Explain Your Financial Situation Now...and Your Plans For 2019
The next step is to have an open and honest conversation about your finances. Show that you've done your research: know the cost of a roundtrip ticket and added expenses, and what it means with respect to your debt or limited cash flow. Be open about how this trip isn't responsible for you to take this year, and then shift the conversation into how you're making changes so that next year you can make the journey. Whether it's taking proactive measures in your job search or saving up enough to meet financial goals for the following year, it's crucial to ease your family's concerns about your current status.
Prepare For Hard Questions
No matter what you say, you're bound to raise some concerns. Remember: it's not judgment, it's love. Don't be defensive, be informative. Write down a few responses to questions you're expecting ahead of time, in order to further ease their worries rather than fuel them.
If you're currently out of work, present your plans to change your current situation before the question, "when are you getting a job" even comes up. "I might preempt it," Jodi R.R. Smith, founder of the etiquette consultancy Mannersmith, tells AOL. "I can say, 'I'm doing great, I'm working on some temporary assignments that might turn into work.'"
If you're one of the 57 million freelancers in America right now, chances are your income isn't as steady as if you were working one full-time corporate gig. "My biggest stress with family around the holidays is being judged," freelancer journalist and publicist Wanda Felicita Ortiz tells Refinery29. "I try to stress that my work is just as valid as that of people who work one job full-time — it's not that people freelance because they're 'lazy.'" Take some time to explain how your business works, how you're hustling now and what the returns will mean in the long-term.
Give the Conversation a Positive Spin
If this is the first time you're being truly open about your finances, lean into that narrative. Tell your folks you want to be able to talk to them about this topic moving forward and even glean their advice now and in the future.
"Talking about money openly and honestly throughout the year helps to make it less taboo to have those discussions around the holidays," financial coach Emily Shutt tells Chimebank. "If it's treated as a normal dialogue, it will become just that."
Be there in Spirit
Just because you can't make it home this year, that doesn't mean you can't spread the love.
"Spending the holidays away from your family doesn't mean ignoring your folks, and it isn't an excuse to be inconsiderate," explains Slate's June Thomas. "If you exchange gifts, select them with the same attention you would if you were going to be present at the unwrapping, mail them to arrive in time for the holidays, and be sure to call home to wish everyone a Merry Christmas—at a designated time if you want to speak with as many family members as possible."
Don't Beat Yourself Up
Remember, you're not a bad person. You're doing the best you can under financial constraints that make it impossible to be everything to everyone. You don't have to apologize for your absence, but you can offer some consolation ideas that let your family know you love their company. Offer to host them for the holiday if they're willing to travel, or if that's not an option, make a tentative plan to visit for a belated celebration in the new year. Just make sure to end the conversation with three simple words: I love you.
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Home garden and porch
As anyone who has ever sold a house will tell you, you must prioritize curb appeal. Before a potential buyer even considers looking inside your house, they notice the outside first. Does it attract the right kind of attention? Does it take away from the feel you're going for? If you plan to sell sometime soon, you must think about these things. Here are some landscaping options to increase your home's curb appeal, so you can get the best price on your home.
Extensive Plants and Greenery
A barren front yard won't get you the price you want on your home. So, invest in at least a little bit of greenery to keep the surrounding area from looking too dead. Shrubs and bushes tie the house to the lawn that precedes it, and flower beds bring a pop of color to an otherwise drab structure. You can also strategically plant some trees to improve the overall feel of your home's exterior.
Lawn Care
As we mentioned, your lawn is one of the most prominent features of your home's exterior. A patchy, dried-up lawn will quickly drive your home's price way down. Some of the best landscaping options for your home's curb appeal involve improving your lawn for the next inhabitant. Overall fertilization, ground aeration, underbrush removal, proper mowing—all of these lawn care tasks contribute to a greener and more lively area that invites people to see your house, rather than stay away from it.
Paved Pathways
There's nothing like a broken and disheveled pathway to make someone think twice about buying a property. Just as you want the entryway in your house to be welcoming, so too should the pathway leading up to the house be inviting. The pathway from the street to your front door provides plenty of real estate to get creative with. You don't have to settle for a boring concrete pathway. Consider something more eye catching, like a cobblestone path or intermittent brick patterns, as a way to better welcome potential buyers.
Usable Outdoor Furniture
Landscaping doesn't just involve the ground you walk on; also included are the items you use as extras to the overall look. Outdoor furniture is one such extra that you don't necessarily need but can look quite attractive if done correctly. Staging is important with outdoor furniture. Old, broken-down pieces will only look like more work to the potential buyer. A few comfortable chairs, a bench, or a table with an umbrella really go a long way to improving your outdoor aesthetics.
A good tip for deciding on curb appeal items is to decide what you personally would want to see as a part of a welcoming home's exterior. You don't need to go overboard, but a little bit of forethought could net you quite a lot of extra cash in the sale.
Unfortunately, giving back can sometimes go haywire. If you're ready to make a donation, first consider common mistakes made when giving back.
Many people strive to support their community by donating their time or their money. When you find a meaningful cause, you might be quick to cut a donation check. Though it's admirable to be quick to act charitably, you should be wary of several common mistakes made when giving to charity. Being mindful of these mistakes and learning tips for making informed charitable choices can help you make the most out of your generous check.
Acting Quickly Out of Emotion
Mission statements are meant to be compelling. If you're an emotionally driven individual, it's natural to pull out your wallet at the sight of a sad puppy on TV or when informed about food insecurity over the phone. Unfortunately, not all charities are as effective or official as they may seem.
Take your passion for helping others one step further by making sure your chosen charity is legit. Speaking with a representative, reviewing their website and social media accounts, and looking at testaments online can give you a better idea of whether the organization is worth your donation.
Forgetting to Keep Record of the Donation
Don't forget that you can reap some financial perks from giving back! With the proper documentation of your donation, you can acquire a better tax deductible.
If you donate more than $12,400 as a single filer or $24,800 as one of two joint filers, you're eligible to deduct that amount from your taxes. So, when a charity asks if you'd like a receipt of donation, always answer yes.
Donating Unusable Materials
Most charities can utilize a monetary donation—it's the physical donations that usually cause some issues. Providing a local nonprofit with irrelevant materials or gifting them with unusable products are surprisingly common mistakes made when giving to charity.
Always check your intended charity's website for a list of things they do and do not accept. The majority of places will provide a guideline to donating or offer contact information to clarify any questions.
Strictly Giving at Year's End
As more and more people get into the holiday spirit at the end of the year, nonprofit organizations see an influx of donations. While it's great to spread holiday cheer via a monetary donation, it's important to keep that spirit going year-round.
With regular donations, charities can more effectively allocate their annual budget. Setting up an automatic monthly donation with the charity of your choosing can maximize your impact. You can account for a monthly donation by foregoing a costly coffee every once in a while.
Knowing how much you should spend on home maintenance each year is hard to figure out and may be preventing you from buying your first home. The types of costs you'll incur depend on the house you buy and its location. The one certainty is that you should start saving now. Read on to figure out how much to start setting aside based on the home you own.
The Age of Your House
Consider several factors when budgeting for home repairs. If you've purchased a new home, your house likely won't require as much maintenance for a few years. Homes built 20 or more years ago are likely to require more maintenance, including replacing and keeping your windows clean. Further, depending on your home's location, weather can cause additional strain over time, so you may need to budget for more repairs.
The One-Percent Rule
An easy way to budget for home repairs is to follow the one-percent rule. Set aside one percent of your home's purchase price each year to cover maintenance costs. For instance, if you paid $200,000 for your home, you would set aside $2,000 each year. This plan is not foolproof. If you bought your home for a good deal during a buyer's market, your home could require more repairs than you've budgeted for.
The Square-Foot Rule
Easy to calculate, you can also budget for home maintenance by saving one dollar for every square foot of your home. This pricing method is more consistent than pricing it by how much you paid because the rate relies on the objective size of your home. Unfortunately, it does not consider inflation for the area where you live, so make sure you also budget for increased taxes and labor costs if you live in or near a city.
The Mix and Match Method
Since there is no infallible rule for how much you should spend on home maintenance, you can combine both methods to get an idea for a budget. Average your results from the square-foot rule and the one-percent rule to arrive at a budget that works for you. You should also increase your savings by 10 percent for each risk factor that affects your home, such as weather and age.
Holding on to savings is easier in theory than practice. Once you know how much you should spend on home maintenance, you'll know what to aim for and be more prepared for an emergency. If you are having trouble securing funds for home repairs, consider taking out a home equity loan, borrowing money from friends or family, or applying for funds through a home repair program through your local government for low-income individuals.
