Everyone wants to be rich, but not everyone is good at it.
You, on the other hand, have had your whole life to practice being rich, without the distraction of developing any skills or working for a living. You make coasting through life look easy! Still, there are some pitfalls to being born with everything you'll ever need, especially when interacting with those less fortunate. So from failson to failson, here are some tips and tricks to living your best life in the shade of your parents' money-tree.
Befriend Some Poors
She doesn't know she wants to be your friend yet
It's important to stay grounded. If you only ever hang out with Trey and Ashlynn at the polo club, you'll lose touch with the commoners. That's not you. You're the kind of Richie Rich that lives your truth and stays humble, so it's important that you look at poor people as a tool for learning. You can find some poors studying at a public university, or even behind the counter of your favorite coffee shop. Some barista's actually make what's known as "tipped wage," which, in New York, means they make $10/hour plus tips. Here's a tip, that means they're poor! They might resist your advances at first, but you let them know that they're just as good as you, in their own way. Tell them some stories about Milan, or the crew team—oh my god, crew team stories are the best!
Ask About Your Poor Friends’ Finances
You never had to learn about money... you just always knew
How are you going to learn if you don't ask questions? If they talk about their job, ask them how much they make. If they invite you to their apartment, look around for a few seconds, then take a guess at how much they pay in rent. Make sure it's a super low-ball guess, so you don't offend them. If they mention how much something cost—anything—be sure to ask if that's a lot of money for them. You might be surprised! You can even use these questions to help them improve their finances. If they're stressing about scraping together enough for their bills this month, say "Don't you have savings?" In order to retire by 65—30 years too late if you ask me—millennials should be putting about half their paychecks into savings, but chances are that your poor friends aren't doing that. This will nudge them in the right direction.
Split the Bill Evenly
Going out to dinner with your working class friends? Suggest the kind of place they probably haven't been before. Per Se? Say no more. They'll probably be a little uncomfortable and try to order something cheap, but you can set expectations by giving their "braised chicken breast" a little raised eyebrow, then ordering whatever comes with the most shaved truffle. When the bill comes, show your friends you see them as your equal by splitting it down the middle.
Treat Your Luxury Goods Like Shit
Oh, that old hunk of junk?
A lot of poor people think that the natively wealthy are all obsessed with status symbols and designer goods. Show them how superficial you think that stuff is by throwing your Louis bag on the floor like a sack of potatoes the moment you walk inside. If you take your poor friends to a rooftop bar with a pool, jump in with your Gucci loafers still on. Suggest a game of "streetball" at a public park, where they don't even charge you to play, and show up in your Balenciaga t-shirt to get your sweat on.
Talk About How Stressful Your Vacations Are
This shot seriously took like 20 takes, you guys
At this point, you pretty much get their whole deal. Their full-time job is stressing them out when they're at their part-time job, and their health insurance won't cover the yoga retreat in Iceland that you keep suggesting—blah blah blah. Show them that the grass isn't always greener just because it's treated with mink-scat fertilizer. You have your own sources of stress, and they'll feel better about their problems if you explain to them how much you had to work to "find yourself" on your trip to Peru—the llamas kept trying to eat your hair when you were posing for pictures, and that porter who carried your bags up the mountain could barely even speak proper Castellano (also, those guys only make like $30/day, so what are your poor friends even complaining about). See? Your life is hard too! Honestly, if your new friends don't get that, maybe they don't deserve you.
In fact, f*ck this whole thing. You don't need poor friends.
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Whether you are looking for a new job or trying to grow in your current one, getting a certification can be a great way to improve your skills.
Anyone can put that they are proficient in a computer program on their resume but having a certificate can help you stand out amongst the competition and give credence to the strength of your skills.
But what's the best way to invest in yourself without breaking the bank? Some certification programs can cost hundreds if not thousands of dollars. We are going to walk through six of the best certifications you can get for $100 or less.
Who is it best for: Those who work with analyzing and presenting data.
Cost: $100 for Tableau Desktop Specialist; additional certifications are available for a larger fee.
More companies than ever see themselves as data companies. Being able to understand data and use it to guide decisions at your company is often critical to taking on a leadership role. Not to mention, being able to present the data in a clean, attractive, and compelling way can help get buy-in from others in your organization or clients. That's why Tableau is a great tool to have in your toolbox.
Tableau allows you to create interactive visual analytics dashboards. In layman's terms, you can take data; create graphs, maps, or charts; and then allow end-users to interact with these graphics to better understand the information. It's a fantastic tool allowing non-technical users to gain insights for data-driven decision-making.
Tableau Desktop Specialist certification starts at $100 and has no expiration date. There are many videos on Tableau's site to prepare for your exam as well as Tableau Starter Kits allowing you to play around and learn the different capabilities of the program. Tableau offers a 14-day free trial as well as free license for one year for students.
Additional certifications after Desktop Specialist are Desktop Associate and Desktop Professional. Those working with a Tableau server may also be interested in a separate certification as a Server Associate or Server Professional.
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When you take out a loan for a car, charge something to your credit card, or get a personal line of credit, there is going to be an interest rate that applies to your loan.
A lot of different factors go into what you will be charged, including your own personal credit score. But even those with flawless credit still see a minimum charge that they can't get around. That all goes back to the Federal Funds Rate.
One thing consumers rarely realize is that all of our banks are lending money to each other every night. Banks are legally required to maintain a certain percentage of their deposits in non-interest-bearing accounts at the Federal Reserve to ensure they have enough money to cover any withdrawals that may unexpectedly come up. However, deposits can fluctuate and it's very common for some banks to exceed the requirement on certain days while some fall short. In cases like this, banks actually lend each other money to ensure they meet the minimum balance. It's a bit hard to imagine these multibillion-dollar financial institutions needing to borrow money to tide them over for a bit, but it happens every single night at the Federal Reserve. It's also a nice deal for those with balances above the reserve balance requirement to earn a bit of money with cash that would normally just be sitting there.
The Federal Reserve
The exact interest rate the banks will charge each other is a matter of negotiation between them, but the Federal Open Market Committee (FOMC) (the arm of the Federal Reserve that sets monetary policy) meets eight times a year to set a target rate. They evaluate a multitude of economic indicators including unemployment, inflation, and consumer confidence to decide the best rate to keep the country in business. The weighted average of all interest rates across these interbank loans is the effective federal funds rate.
This rate has a huge impact on the economy overall as well as your personal finances. The federal funds rate is essentially the cheapest money available to a bank and that feeds into all of the other loans they make. Banks will add a slight upcharge to the rate set by the Fed to determine what is the lowest interest that they will announce for their most creditworthy customers, also known as the prime rate. If you have a variable interest rate loan (very common with credit cards and some student loans), it's likely that the interest rate you pay is a set percentage on top of that prime rate that your lender is paying. That's why in times of low interest rates (it was set at 0% during the Great Recession), a lot of borrowers should go for fixed interest rate loans that won't increase. However, if the federal funds rate was relatively high (it went up to 20% in the early 1980's), a variable interest rate loan may be a better decision as you would be charged less interest should the rate drop without the need to refinance.
The federal funds rate also has a major impact on your investment portfolio. The stock market reacts very strongly to any changes in interest rates from the Federal Reserve, as a lower rate makes it cheaper for companies to borrow and reinvest while a higher rate may restrict capital and slow short-term growth. If you have a significant portion of your investments in equities, a small change in the federal funds rate can have a large impact on your net worth.
Whether you're leaving a job involuntarily, departing for something new, or just want to prepare for the unknown, it is smart to understand all your options regarding your 401k.