personal finances

Congratulations! You've Ubered and Grubhubbed and online-shopped your way into credit card debt. Now you're an adult who's incurred enough debt to make a credit card company very frustrated with you. Welcome to the maxed out club!

The first time you realize that you've maxed out a credit card, you may panic, but there are many recourses you can take that aren't openly advertised by credit card companies. Some will impact your credit score more than others, but if you've come this far, you've probably realized that a credit score is just life's homework, and there's always a way to half-ass the assignment during homeroom.

Debt Forgiveness

NationalDebtRelief.com

Listen: Credit card companies are like distant relatives from whom you've been forced to borrow money. You are fully expected to pay it back; but sometimes they just give up on you. If you've been missing multiple payments and are clearly falling behind what you could ever feasibly repay, you can call your creditor to negotiate a way to settle your debt. You reach an agreement to pay a lower amount than what you owe, and they agree to forgive the difference.

It's not a perfect plan, however; a note is added to your credit report that you've settled a debt you couldn't pay. Your credit score could take a hit, plus any forgiven balance over $600 is counted as "taxable income" by the IRS, meaning you could end up owing taxes on it.

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With finances being one of the most common sources of stress, anxiety-induced habits of negative self-talk and pessimistic thinking can affect how you deal with your money situation. As common as budgeting problems are, how you approach your personal finances can have a powerful effect on your money money management. From second-guessing your expenses to internalizing shame about spending money, these are the signs of negative self-talk and how you can improve your financial skills.

1. Identify what negative self-talk is to you

For some, it's a sense of creeping doubt that you don't have as strong a handle on your finances as you think. For others, it's pressure to live a lifestyle that isn't realistically feasible for you yet. In whatever form it takes, having an inner voice in your head that denigrates your own money instincts and abilities to learn better habits is a serious deterrent to your financial growth. Even if you were raised by a guardian who instilled in you anxieties over money, assess your own situation and your own habits realistically. Acknowledging your natural strengths is just as important as acknowledging your limitations.

2. Know your triggers

Psychology Today emphasizes the importance of triggers of self-criticism, writing, "The critic is a voice that you have internalized based on outside influences and learning such as other people's criticism, expectations, or standards." Maybe you're more prone to question your financial skills around bills' due dates or in certain environments, like work or the bank. Keeping track of your negative thinking by jotting down notes in your phone or in a journal can identify the patterns that trigger the habit, which is the first step to changing your environment and controlling your responses to certain situations.

3. Talk about money

Speaking about your finances may feel Iike a social faux pas, but when it comes to your partner, close friends, or family members, you should be willing to open up and break the taboo. But as The New York Time details, "It's hard to learn about something when you're discouraged from talking about it. In that way, silence becomes a tool for oppression." Embarrassment and insecurity are common feelings everyone shares about money; discussing them in the open is more likely to relieve those fears than actualize them.

4. Think positively (and create a budget!)

After you've identified your patterns of negative thinking and you're willing to open up about your insecurities about money management, the final and most important step is to make positive change. Staying educated about the economy can help you stay affirmative about what you've achieved, which boosts your confidence when you sit down to plan for your realistic goals. Experts spoke to The New York Times about using budgeting apps to track and plan your spending. Looking to the future with a firm grasp on your bad habits and room to grow is the best anyone can hope for. As author and financial expert Kristin Wong says, "Even the 'experts' slip up every now and then, because to be bad with money is to be human. So don't be too hard on yourself."
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Sometimes your spending spirals out of control. Once you realize that you've lost control of your debt, you need a plan of action to get your finances back on track. No matter what situation you're in, the relief of a debt-free life is a feasible goal. Take these simple steps to assess and then improve your personal finances.

Be Realistic

If you've been burying your head in the sand, it's time to face facts. "A lot of people will say they've got a certain amount of debt — $9,000, let's say — when in reality, it's $11,000 or $14,000," Cate Williams, Vice President of Financial Literacy for Money Management International, told CreditCards.com. She's right, of course; it's impossible to hit your target if you don't know what you're aiming for.

Action step: Write down your debts, including the interest rate, on every card you have.

Pick Up the Phone

Speaking of those interest rates, getting them lowered can be as simple as picking up the phone. Get on the horn, as they say, and ask nicely. Even a reduction by a point or two can earn you big savings.

Action step: Here's a script for exactly what to stay on the phone with credit card customer service.

Pick Your Strategy

Paying off credit card debt is not a game of chance. You'll need a strategy to lessen the financial burden you're carrying month to month. What are your options? Think of snow:

  • The Avalanche Method: You pay off your highest interest card first, erasing your debt as quickly and efficiently as possible. With this method, you'll save hundreds or even thousands on interest charges in the long run. The downside is that it's arguably the most painful to execute. Action step: Make minimum payments on all of your cards except the one with the highest APR. For the card account with the highest APR, pay as much as you can afford. When that card is paid off, apply that same amount to the card with the next highest interest rate.
  • The Snowball Method: What the avalanche saves you in money, the snowball saves you in morale. What this method offers is a psychological advantage. If paying off the smallest balance first will give you the confidence and headwind to carry out your debt payments, then this method may be for you. Action step: Make the minimum payments on all your accounts except the one with the smallest balance. For the card with the lowest balance, pay as much as you can afford. When that card is down to zero, repeat the process by paying the same amount to the card with the next-lowest balance.
  • The Blizzard Method: You combine the best of both strategies by paying off the smallest balance first and then moving on to wipe out the highest-interest balance next. Combine the best of both, and you've got a blizzard.

"The avalanche saves the most money, but some folks prefer a quick win with the snowball method," Beverly Harzog, author of The Debt Escape Plan, tells Credit Karma. "The blizzard combines both — you get the emotional boost and then you can save money by using the avalanche."

Transfer Your Debt to a 0% Interest Card

You may be able to tackle your debt with no interest at all by transferring a high-interest debt to a single card using a balance transfer. Many balance transfer cards allow you to pay 0 percent interest on your balance for a set amount of time, allowing you to pay more toward your principal and reduce the overall amount of time it'll take you to wipe out your debt.

Action step: Check out NerdWallet to see what the current best cards are.

Make a Budget

You need to figure out where your money is going — aka how you got into debt in the first place. Harzog, who paid off more than $20,000 of her credit card debt, says it takes persistence, self-discipline, and "a darned good budget."

Action step: Sign up for Mint.com or You Need a Budget to help you assess your spending and set up a plan.

Cut Back

Remember the cabbage soup diet? Remember how after three days you were ready to scarf a large supreme pizza? The same principle is at play with living on a budget and paying down debts. An extreme strategy with zero flexibility could quickly activate your desire to rebel and spend more than you can afford, putting you right back where you started.

"Cutting back can be more effective than cutting out," Gail Cunningham, the former spokeswoman for the National Foundation for Credit Counseling, told CreditCards.com. "It's hard to adjust your lifestyle too dramatically, and often, little adjustments can add up to big savings."

Instead of making a No Dining Out rule, limit restaurant visits to once per week and cap your drinks at two. Instead of cutting the cable cord altogether, cut out the premium channels; don't go without heat, but try lowering the thermostat by a degree or two.

Action step: Write down three ways you can cut back on some of your splurges and downgrade or cancel some of your services starting today.

Put Your Credit Cards on Ice

We mean that literally. Put your credit cards in a cup or bowl of water and place it in the freezer. You'll still have the card(s) for emergencies, but they won't be in your wallet. Clear any stored credit card data off your computer, too.

Have a Smart Social Life

Derek Sall paid off $116,000 worth of debt before age 30 when he stopped trying to keep up with his friends, especially the luxury-filled highlight reel social media versions of their lives.

"The best tip I can give is just live your own life," Sall told CNBC. "The best way to just live simply and be content is just to turn it all off and hardly pay attention to it at all. Because that's what gets people in the most trouble. They see 'Oh, my friend went on this great vacation, and I wish we could do that!'"

Action step: If you need a digital social media detox to limit the visual envy and distractions, delete the apps off your phone.

Stay Focused

Remember why you're doing this. Will paying off your credit card debt allow you to save for a down payment on a house or stop panicking when you open the mailbox?

Action plan: Write your goals down and tack them to the fridge or bathroom mirror. Put a picture in your wallet of your dream house or something that represents financial peace to you. Join a money-saving community on Facebook or post regularly to forums where you can vent, be motivated, and remember you're not the only one in your position.

Keep Healthy Financial Habits

As you pay off your debts, think about healthy spending and saving habits. In particular, practice differentiating between wants and needs. Food and shelter are needs; bills and emergency funds are, too.

But wants are those ads you see on Instagram, a $14 French martini, a new spring blouse. When it comes to spending, make sure your needs are taking precedence over your wants.

Action step: You made that budget. Stick to it.

"Staying out of debt isn't a big mystery," Regina Blackwell, a certified budget counselor at credit counseling service Transformance, tells Credit Karma. "Account for your money. Live within your means. Don't spend what you don't have. After becoming debt-free, apply the lessons you've learned and work toward the establishment of healthy financial habits."