workplace bullying

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Going to work every day to face an unpleasant or unjustifiably harsh boss or coworker can make even a job you love distressing. There's often no clear or simple way out of a situation like this, but with some helpful tips you'll be able to face the problem with confidence and move steadily toward a solution. Learn how to handle a tough boss or coworker and begin to like your job again.

Dealing with a Difficult Boss

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The first step towards a solution is to examine your boss's perspective. Put yourself in their position and see if you can feel the reasons they behave the way they do. It's extremely difficult to do this if you feel like the victim of unfair treatment, but it might help you find the best path toward fixing the problem.

If your boss stresses you out daily about each small task, confronting them about the habit probably won't stop their micromanaging. The best defense against this behavior might simply be to accomplish the tasks you know they'll expect you to do before they ask. Consistent self-management is a good way to demonstrate that you don't need constant supervision from others.

Every solution begins with communication. This doesn't mean directly addressing the problem every time you talk to your boss. Instead, it means nurturing the relationship between worker and manager and hoping that this naturally calms the tension and more closely aligns the goals and expectations of both parties.

If there's simply no way forward and your life at work and at home is suffering because of the stress, it might be necessary to try to transfer to a different team, department, branch or—if the situation is irreparable—company.

Handling a Difficult Coworker

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Workplace relationships between coworkers are even more important than those with bosses. Unfortunately, not every situation is ideal. You might have trouble focusing on your work when you're surrounded by talkative, distracting partners. Or, you might feel like you can't break through with a coworker to form a real friendship.

Dealing with negative effects on your work is difficult and delicate. Like handling a tough boss, addressing problems with a coworker starts with consideration and communication. Standing in their shoes, can you see a reason for their actions? Is there anything you can do to help them that would stem the cause of the problems? Is the situation mild enough that meeting about it and discussing your feelings with the other person would help?

If a coworker's negativity is bringing you down, it's probably best to spend time in another circle of employees or another area of the building. If an employee is overly competitive and uses rudeness or insults to hamper your work, it's important to keep the focus of meetings and presentations on the success of the company and away from personal success. Their selfishness will stand out unattractively next to your teamwork.

A serious problem at work is a colleague who bullies. This is an issue that requires courage and patience to address. Always stand up for yourself but don't fall for bait or lose your temper: calmness and firmness on your part will win this confrontation. However, there are many, many battles in the long war against bullies and constantly spending energy on it will take away from your work. At this point, it's best to take the problem calmly to a superior. HR departments and administrators are trained to deal with this type of problem, so don't be afraid to ask for their help. After all, your happiness at work will only benefit the team and the whole company.

Working in a healthy environment sometimes means having difficult conversations about difficult relationships with bosses and coworkers. These moments are important because you worked hard to earn the position you have and you don't deserve to have it ruined by rude or inconsiderate people. Plus, mending these relationships could make the job even better in the future. Have confidence, use your patience, and act firmly to make your workplace a comfortable, productive space that you'll enjoy going to every day.

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The "mean girl" mentality doesn't stop after high school graduation day. Unfortunately for some, once a bully, always a bully. This mean-spirited, often-abusive behavior can carry on into adulthood and squirm its way into offices and boardrooms. While the "mean girl" may think she's tough and intimidating, inside, she's likely insecure and immature.

How to tell if you're being victimized? As per The Balance, ask yourself this, "Do you regularly feel intimidated, dread to work near a particular coworker, or you're yelled at, insulted, and put down? Does a coworker talk over you at meetings, criticize you, or steal credit for your work? If you answer yes to these questions, chances are good that you're one of 54 million Americans who have been attacked by a bully at work."

You may be a self-assured and savvy individual, but when a "mean girl" sets her target and it lands on you, her predatory nature won't be scared off easily. Perhaps the more envious she is of your work ethic and inter-personal relationships with co-workers, the more she will zone in on you to cause trouble.

Just because a "mean girl" lights a fire it doesn't mean you must sit idly by to watch it burn. When ignoring her doesn't work and your job performance and level of comfort is diminishing, it's time to act. Bullies are not bullet-proof and must be put in their place. Use these tips to get the "mean girl" to quit her disruptive and detrimental behavior once and for all. You'll regain your sanity, protect others from future abuse, and perhaps she'll one day reflect on her patterns and actions to make changes for the better.

Keep Your Cool

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Freak out and you'll give the "mean girl" just the reaction she was aiming for. Not only will your reaction excite this bully, but it could cause you to get a bad reputation around the office as well. What to do? As per Fast Company, "Find a way to stay calm and work on your game face. If you show that you're hurt or upset, that's going to make them happy as heck. Stay grounded."

It may take a moment to think before you react, but by keeping composed, you're already ahead of the game. And that's really what this is in her mind… a game. Only now, you're the winner.

Be Straightforward

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If you opt to say something to the "mean girl," make it direct. Don't beat around the bush or communicate anything that is vague. Setting limits is something The Balance strongly advises. "Exercise your right to tell the bully to stop the behavior. Describe the behavior you see the bully exhibiting. Don't say you're mean and nasty to me. Meaningless commentary to a bully. Better? You regularly enter my cubicle, lean over my shoulder, and read my personal correspondence on my computer screen."

The Balance adds that you must make it clear how their behavior is negatively impacting your work and what you are not prepared to deal with any longer.

Keep Accounts and Report

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If bullying is bothering you, you must document the events. As per Fast Company, "Write down what happened and when. Keep detailed accounts of the circumstances, exactly what was said, and who, if anyone, heard or saw it."

Huffington Postadds, "Never leave the documentation in the office." You don't want the "mean girl" to get her hands on it and destroy the evidence or have one of her cohorts get back to her with the damaging information.

Report the situation to your superior or HR. You do not deserve this treatment and must put an end to it. According to U.S. News & World Report, "HR is specifically designed to handle these kinds of complaints. They understand the potential legal ramification if the situation escalates. Describe what is happening in detail and explain how the situation is impacting your ability to do your work. It's important to stress that you want to find a productive, comfortable way of addressing the situation."

"Mean girls" are not powerful enough to block your success. Deal accordingly and take the high road. She certainly won't be walking there!