anxiety

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In 2005, I opened up a Gmail account and received my first message welcoming me to my new inbox. Today, my account contains 39,000 messages—including the 8,700 I haven't yet opened. To say that it's a source of stress would be an understatement. Between Gmail, work accounts, Slack, Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, Trello, text messages and yes, the occasional phone-call, it feels like an endless game of whack-a-mole. The minute I respond to one message, another pops up, leaving me with the gnawing sensation that I will never, ever catch up—especially if I want to accomplish anything aside from correspondence. With email, "you have the false sensation of advancing toward a goal, but the moment you look away, the target shifts further into the distance as more messages roll in," Jocelyn K. Glei, author of Unsubscribe: How to Kill Email Anxiety, Avoid Distractions, and Get Real, tells TheMuse.

I may have an exceptionally daunting inbox, but my anxiety about it isn't unique. On average, Americans spend 6.5 hours a day just checking their email—that doesn't include reading or responding to messages. That kind of time suck has taken its toll. With record rates of stress and anxiety among the millennial workforce, the expectation of flexible boundaries and constant communication may be partly to blame. According to one recent Virginia Tech study, managing the barrage of work emails at all hours of the day along with personal responsibilities, "triggers feelings of anxiety and endangers work and personal lives."

It's no wonder we break into cold sweats when we open our email accounts. "A lot of people easily get hundreds of emails a day," occupational therapist Angela Lockwood tells the SydneyMorningHerald. "They get anxious, thinking, 'I don't know how I'm going to cope.'" The result is a very real and uncomfortable anxiety that can be paralyzing. So how do we avoid this feeling without avoiding our email altogether? Here's some expert advice I'll be taking to heart.

Turn Off Your Alerts

The first thing you need to do is turn down the volume on the noise. If you have notifications on your phone that pop up every time you get a new email or social media alert, shut it off. "Email anxiety is very much around that constant intrusion into our day from notifications," suggests Lockwood, author of Switch Off: How to Find Calm In A Noisy World. "So the anxiety doesn't just happen when you open your computer in the morning, it's constant throughout the day." In today's world we're expected to be multitaskers, but it's impossible to complete just one task if we're constantly distracted by reminders of others. It's not like you're going to forget to check your accounts throughout the day, but in order to avoid that panic of inundation, you need the ability to focus on one thing, rather than a million little beeps and buzzes that may not be a priority at the moment.

Batch Your Tasks

"To achieve maximum productivity, we should schedule, prioritize and match the most important tasks that demand the majority of our attention with our periods of high energy levels," suggests TheLadders' Mayo Oshin. "On the flip side, our least important or less demanding tasks should be matched with the lower periods of energy." That means setting aside chunks of time during the day to deal with different types of emails. Oshin suggests checking in three times a day, setting aside 30-60 minutes each, depending on the volume of emails. You should get the most pressing emails out of the way immediately when you have fresh eyes and the most energy, and set aside those less urgent ones for later in the day when you need a break.

Set Your Boundaries

Yes, some emails require immediate responses, but most can wait. (TheMuse has a handy guide for lag time etiquette if you're ever unsure.) The problem is that the quicker you respond to emails, the higher the expectations become.

"Be sure to also think about the psychological messages you're sending along with your emails," suggest the folks at TrackTime24, an app designed to help you manage your tech time more efficiently. "Responding immediately trains people in a negative way and sets expectations that can be tough to maintain. Once you're known as someone who drops everything to reply to an email, delayed responses will begin to rub people the wrong way. But if you never set that expectation, taking your time to reply won't make waves."

Cognitive psychologist and improvement coach Amanda Crowell tested this theory herself, by waiting a day before replying to every email. Turns out the world didn't end, and she was able to discover which emailers required the most urgent responses and which ones were less likely to take offense. She was also able to send a clear message that she wasn't always available to everyone immediately. "We are holding ourselves in this prison of constant connection!" Crowell tells Quartz. "It's all about knowing what you really want, and then taking the small steps to get a little bit closer, and a little bit closer over time … that accumulation results in a different life."

Embrace Your "Inbox Infinity"

A few years ago, before the volume of emails in our collective inboxes grew out of hand, the idea of Inbox Zero—or a cleaned out inbox—seemed somewhat attainable. But the trend has gone in the other direction, and for good reason.

"The compulsion to empty our email inboxes is an addictive habit that makes us feel like we're making progress and getting things done, but in reality, we're wasting precious time that could be spent on our most important tasks," writes Oshin.

To remedy this addiction, TheAtlantic's Taylor Lorenz came up with a new, more realistic approach to the email pile-up: acceptance, or what Lorenz calls Inbox Infinity. "One critical step in the inbox-infinity method is to publicly admit that you have too much email to handle and be up front about not responding," Lorenz writes. "You can start by messaging close contacts and family members, providing them with alternative ways to reach you."

You can also set an auto-reply that alerts emailers about when to realistically expect a response, and how to reach you if the matter is urgent.

"Since putting up my own out-of-office responder on my personal inbox and adopting inbox infinity, I've felt my stress about opening my mailbox decrease," writes Lorenz. "I've also found that setting the expectation that I may never see or reply to an email makes people even more grateful when they do get a response."

The most important thing to remember is that you are the master of your own inbox. We are all weighed down by the pressure to keep up, but if your unread messages are causing you major anxiety, it's time to relax, take a breath, and consider picking up the phone. Sometimes responding to someone the old-fashioned way is the healthiest move for everyone.

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Are you a "Type A" personality with little patience for mindless mistakes and mediocrity? Sure, an A+ performance and a job well-done is something to be proud of, but is too much of a good thing simply too much?

Perfectionism can be a blessing. Nobody wants a so-so surgeon or a repairman with a "screw loose." But most people may fare better if they leave their perfectionism at the door and learn to embrace a mentality that accepts that not everything will be 100 percent 100 percent of the time.

These three reasons explain why perfectionism may not be so perfect after all. You can still get the job done well – even spectacularly – without the weight of perfectionism crushing down.

The Pressure Can Be Prohibitive

Billy Joel sings, "You have to learn to pace yourself/Pressure/You're just like everybody else/Pressure…" You know what is a major cause of pressure? Perfectionism. The stress you put yourself under may make your goals too great to bear.

As Utica College describes, "You are constantly busting your butt to live up to that impossible standard and feel mortified when somebody realizes that you are, in fact, imperfect like everyone else."

The Nest notes how stress can be stifling, "Perfectionism creates stress, because realistically creating a perfect product demands perfect conditions. These conditions won't always be present in the workplace. Distractions, sudden interruptions, and unexpected new developments will constantly shift production and change your day."

The pressure of striving for "perfect" can be a pitfall. Loosening up can be a lifesaver.

It Can Lead to Procrastination

There's no time like the present thumbor.forbes.com

Procrastination may seem like the last thing that coexists with perfectionism, but the drive to be the best can lend itself to setbacks and stagnation. AsMy Body + Soul points out, "Unhealthy perfectionism can turn people into procrastinators or avoiders. They take longer to do a task and won't just give things a go."

Career Addictnotes, "Perfectionists usually have a specific way of doing things which they deem as the best. They assume that they know everything and are therefore unwilling to embrace input from other people. This denies them the opportunity of being exposed to new situations and ideas they would have learned from."

Personal Excellence explains why this correlation is common, "When it's time to get to work, they (procrastinators) become extremely detail oriented, start to obsess about every single thing, get weighed down by every problem, and get caught up by the need to create everything perfectly. Over time, such intricate attention becomes too painful, and this subsequently leads to procrastination — putting off a task to get some relief, but is in actual fact pushing away the pain that they create with each task."

There is nothing perfect about missing deadlines or pulling "all-nighters."

Your Well-Being Can Suffer

No pain, no gain?reginaboyd.com

Be it mental or physical (or a combination of the two), perfectionism can lead to problems, and one's health can be at risk. Emotionally, "[perfectionists] want to achieve precision in everything, yet this precision creates great unhappiness for themselves," notes Personal Excellence. "In the end, they build this cave of misery that they suffer in each day." Career Addict adds, "Perfectionists are usually workaholics who will not stop until they achieve the result they desire. They constantly sacrifice recreation, food and sleep for the sake of work."

As per BBC Future, "The drawback of perfectionism isn't just that it holds you back from being your most successful, productive self. Perfectionistic tendencies have been linked to a laundry list of clinical issues: depression and anxiety (even in children), self-harm, social anxiety disorder and agoraphobia, obsessive-compulsive disorder, eating disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder, chronic fatigue syndrome, insomnia, hoarding, chronic headaches, and, most damning of all, even early mortality and suicide."

You are stretched too thin, exhausted, and ultimately, unsatisfied.

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