emotions

I Cried at Work… Now What?

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We may cry during sappy television commercials, when we argue with our spouse or best friend, or if we get some upsetting news, but letting the waterworks flow at work is not something we want to do or see all too often. Being emotional in the workplace setting to the point where tears fall can be embarrassing, disturbing, and often frowned upon. But like anything else in this imperfect world, things happen that are beyond our control. Anything from welled-up eyes to a full-on bawl can go down at work, but it is not the end of the world – no matter how you may feel in the moment.

You may have cried at work in the past or held in your bubbling up tears to the point of nearly bursting. You may fear the day will come that you will lose your composure and weep like you just lost your puppy. Before you relive the moment or stress out unnecessarily, know that many people at all levels have cried at work and managed to live to see another day, through clear eyes and a renewed sense of spirit.

Aside from reaching for the nearest box of Kleenex, here is what you should do if you cry at work.

Acknowledge the Wave of Emotions

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OK, so the tears poured like a rainstorm and everyone saw the scene. You can't sweep the scene under the rug, but you do not need to cause a further spectacle. Once you can manage to get the words out, acknowledge that you became overwhelmed or overcome with emotions. And that's that.

Forbesrecommends, "The key is to acknowledge the emotion or the circumstances that led to your outburst, but don't apologize for it. When you start apologizing, it takes one person's discomfort and makes two people uncomfortable."

Elle Canada suggests, "Own it. If you're in a meeting, be direct. Say 'Well, that hit a nerve." Clear and concise, end of subject.

Be brief and be mature. If you try to skirt the issue, people will be kept wondering what's going on with you, gossip can fester, and folks may think that anything said or done will cause the "fragile" you to break down again. Show your strength by exhibiting that emotions are part of humanity.

Excuse Yourself

You will need to get back to work with a clear head and a fresh restart. You may need to remove yourself from the group to recompose. Head to the rest room, take a breather outside, or just go to your desk or office for a few moments of privacy.

Those who witnessed your tears will surely understand and probably expect you to step away for a bit. Once you have recovered, hold your head up high and resume your work. Do not let the upset dictate how the rest of your day will go. You might actually feel much better after releasing the pent-up tension and stress.

Move On

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It is time to let it go. We all have our moments and this was yours. There is no need to rehash the episode or bring it up again. Most people will not even remember this happened in a day or so. As Fortune reminds us, "Just get over it. Everyone else will forget about it if you forget about it"

Like Elle Canada notes, "There's no 'tissue ceiling' — people can be successful at all levels of management, and crying is a biological thing that people are wired to do. Don't beat yourself up over it."

Once you reflect and get to the root of the problem that caused your crying in the first place, you will find yourself in a better frame of mind and have the ability to work through the issue the next go-round sans tears. 'Till then, always have a hankie on you.

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Why you should let your emotions flow, even at work.

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Most of us have been told to put our emotions aside at work and be all-business, all the time. Women tend to hear this message more often than their male counterparts, regularly being told they are being "too emotional" when it comes to high-stress situations, differences of opinion, high-stakes business matters, or even when they are just having a bad day. But no matter our gender, for the most part, the only emotions employers hope for or want to see in the workplace is happiness. Happy workers lead to productivity and overall success for the company, right?

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Yes and no. Happiness is certainly important, both on a personal and professional level. Without feeling a sense of satisfaction, a person's well-being as well as their workplace performance is sure to suffer. Yet happiness is so much more complex than an outward cheery disposition and a plastered-on smile.

As per Business Insider, "Happiness is not just about developing positive emotions, it has two other constituent parts: purpose and resilience. Having a clear and meaningful purpose is a key element in sustaining long-term happiness."

A large part of our purpose is what we do with our lives and how we feel about doing it. What we do for a living makes up a great portion of most people's sense of purpose, and even if we are happy in the general sense, having the ability to deal effectively with our other emotions will help us maintain and even increase this sense of contentment. Like Business Insider puts it, "Developing resilience is the third highly essential component of happiness, as it enables us to deal effectively with negative emotions when they arise."

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That is why we must allow ourselves to embrace our emotions – even at work – to remain, or even become happy, as well as a useful force in the workplace. Bottling up negative emotions will not lead to happiness – just the opposite. Workers may become frustrated, temperamental, or no longer have the drive to put in much effort. Not only should we be able to identify our own emotions, but those of the people around us as well, known as emotional intelligence.

As per Psychology Today, emotional intelligence includes three skills, "Emotional awareness; the ability to harness emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to manage emotions, which includes regulating your own emotions and cheering up or calming down other people." This intuitive behavior is what makes working with others impactful and successful. In fact, TalentSmart notes, "People with a high degree of emotional intelligence make more money—an average of $29,000 more per year than people with a low degree of emotional intelligence."

Not to mention, emotions are what makes us human. With so much technology being developed and perfected every day, computers, robots, Artificial Intelligence, and the like are taking over roles people used to be required to manage. According to Business Insider, "Many indicators suggest that jobs of the future will require much more emotional intelligence to complement the sophisticated machines we work with. As more and more jobs are automated, the nature of the value that humans will add will evolve to focus around creativity, connectivity with others and self-fulfillment."

We need to stay aware of and connected to our emotions and learn how to handle them effectively and appropriately, even in the workplace setting. Not every day will be perfect, or even close to it, and it is OK to allow ourselves to feel it. When we can work through these feelings to arrive at a place of satisfaction once again, we will be better people and valued employees. So, do not take your emotions lightly. And never dismiss the feelings of those you work with either.

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By understanding and accepting our own and one another's emotions, we will all be happier for it.

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