In an experiment he called "the cookie monster" study, Dacher Keltner, professor of psychology at University of California, Berkeley, and author of The Power Paradox: How We Gain and Lose Influence, brought groups of three people into a lab and randomly assigned one person a position of leadership. He then gave the group a writing task. After a half-hour of work, Keltner placed a plate of four freshly baked cookies in front of the team—one for each team member with one left over. In all groups, each person took one. Who would take the last remaining cookie? In nearly all cases, it was the person who'd been named the leader of the group who took the last cookie for themselves.
"In addition," Keltner writes in the Harvard Business Review, "the leaders were more likely to eat with their mouths open, lips smacking, and crumbs falling onto their clothes."
Such an experiment illustrates what Keltner calls "the power paradox." While people often gain power through behavior that advances the interests of others, such as empathy and collaboration, once they begin to feel powerful, those are the very qualities that diminish. Leaders then become more likely to engage in rude, selfish, and unethical behavior. In short, the old saying is true: Power does corrupt.
There's a neurological explanation at work. Sukhvinder Obhi, a neuroscientist at McMaster University in Ontario, put the brains of the powerful and the not-so-powerful under a transcranial-magnetic-stimulation machine, a device with an electromagnetic coil that that uses magnetic fields to stimulate nerve cells in the brain. What he found was that power impairs a specific neural process called "mirroring." In neural mirroring, a neuron fires both when we perform an action, like laughing or raising our hand in a meeting, and when we observe the same action performed by another. Researchers say this kind of vicarious experience may be a cornerstone of empathy.
But not only does neural mirroring, an unconscious response, decrease in the powerful, so too does psychological mimicking, the empathic response to laugh when others laugh, for example, that allows us to momentarily have an understanding of another person's experience. Powerful people "stop simulating the experience of others," Keltner told the Atlantic, which leads to what he calls an "empathy deficit."
It's not just power in the workplace, however. Other forms of privilege and entitlement, such as wealth can have a similar effect. In another experiment, for example, Keltner and a colleague found that drivers of the least expensive cars always ceded the right-of-way to pedestrians in a crosswalk. People driving luxury cars such as BMWs and Mercedes yielded only 54% of the time; nearly half the time they ignored the pedestrian and the law.
Power also heightens feelings of egocentricity. In another study, participants were asked to draw a capital E on their forehead with a washable marker. Those with power tended to draw the E on their forehead oriented to their own point of view, but which would appear reversed from the point of someone standing opposite them. Lack of empathy, coupled with egocentrism, aids and abets those in power to see people as means to an end, objects along their personal path to success.
"[Power] creates psychological distance between the powerful person and everything else," Batia Wiesenfeld, a management professor at New York University's Stern School of Business, told Fast Company.
"Here's the thing," wrote David Rock and Mary Slaughter of the NeuroLeadership Institute in Fast Company. "A lot of leaders fall into the trap of being stuck in the big picture, as well as the outcome. This can lead them to make ethically dubious decisions without thinking about the consequences. Similarly, this type of thinking can also present problematic business risks." To say nothing of your team turning on you.
So what's a powerful leader to do? Keltner says it comes down to awareness and actions of empathy, gratitude, and generosity.
The practice: Awareness
Awareness at work, and examination of one's demeanor at the office, is no different than a mindfulness practice at home: sit quietly, breathe deeply, quiet your mind. Practice what Buddhist teacher, Tara Brach, calls RAIN: Recognize, Allow, Interrogate, Non-Attachment.
The proof: Studies show that spending just a few minutes a day on such exercises gives people greater focus and calm; it's why these techniques are taught in training programs at companies like Google, Facebook, Aetna, General Mills, Ford, and Goldman Sachs, Keltner notes.
The practice: Empathy
Practice empathy in the workplace by thinking before a meeting about the individuals who will be present and what's going on in their lives. Is someone in the midst of a move or did they just drop their kid off for the first day of kindergarten that morning? Listen actively with attentive body language and vocal engagement (no looking at your phone during meetings). Ask questions and paraphrase the important points you hear. When employees come to you with difficult situations, take a moment to sympathize with them before launching into problem-solving mode. "That's really tough," and "I'm sorry" mean a lot.
The proof: Keltner advises we look at the U.S. Senate. Research has shown senators who used empathetic facial expressions and tones of voice when speaking to the floor got more bills passed than those who used domineering, threatening gestures and tones in their speeches.
The practice: Gratitude
Practice gratitude by making thank you's a regular part of how you communicate with your team. It can be handwritten notes, emails, and public praise and acknowledgement. Don't be afraid to give a fist bump or high-five to celebrate success.
The proof: NBA players who physically display their appreciation—through head raps, bear hugs, and hip and chest bumps—inspire their teammates to play better and win nearly two more games per season, Keltner's research has shown.
The practice: Generosity
Practice generosity by spending one-on-one time with your subordinates. Buy them lunch. Delegate and share high-profile responsibilities to those who have earned it, offer generous praise, and share the spotlight by giving credit for success not to yourself, but to all members of the team who made a win possible.
The proof: Those who share with others in a group, by contributing new ideas or lending a helping hand on projects not their own, are viewed as more worthy of respect and influence and thus well-suited for leadership, studies show.
Think not just about practicing empathic and generous leadership, but exercising enlightened power.
"Enlightened leadership is... the domain of awareness where we experience values like truth, goodness, beauty, love and compassion, and also intuition, creativity, insight and focused attention," said Deepak Chopra.
Sounds like a great boss.
While it's possible to be frugal with many aspects of your lifestyle, there are certain events and possessions that will require you to spend a substantial amount of money. Thus, a wise course of action is to begin saving well ahead of time while thinking about your goals for the future. This way, you'll be able to maintain a stable financial state even when faced with those large expenses. The following are a few major life purchases that you should plan for.
Marriage is a joyous occasion that many people look forward to. However, a wedding can be quite expensive, often costing thousands of dollars. Your family and your future spouse's family will often contribute to covering this, but you should still prepare to spend a good deal of your own money on the ceremony. If you're in a serious relationship and are considering marriage, you should plan where the funds for the wedding will come from and take the necessary actions to accumulate them. It's also crucial to discuss financial matters with your partner, since your property will merge once you get married.
A New Car
Automobiles remain one of the top modes of transportation. As a result, you may want to purchase a new car at some point in your life. Although you may be fine with an old or used vehicle at present, you may one day be motivated by a desire to acquire something nice for yourself or by the practical needs that arise as you raise children. Whatever the case, obtaining a new car is a major life purchase that you should plan for.
In addition to setting aside funds to eventually put towards a vehicle, you should also aim to build you credit score. This is because your credit score will determine your available car loan options. The higher your credit score, the more you may be able to lower your interest rates on your car.
Owning your own residential property is a worthy objective that you may hope to make a reality one day. Ideally, you should save about 20 percent of the total cost of a house before you buy it. This will allow you to make a larger down payment and thereafter face less interest on your mortgage.
As with acquiring a car, the mortgage options that you'll have can change based on how strong your credit score is. You'll want to increase your score as much as possible in the years leading up to buying a house so that you can get more favorable interest rates. In addition to contemplating down payments and mortgages, you must also remember that you'll need to deal with property taxes, insurance, maintenance and repair fees, and sometimes homeowners' association charges.
It's also necessary to hire a real estate agent to help you with the buying process. There are different types of real estate professionals. You should know how to distinguish between buyer's agents and seller's agents so that you can obtain favorable prices on homes as well.
Many people live together before getting married and have begun the process of combining accounts and sharing responsibilities. However, some people wait to do this only after marriage, and others wait until they're married to live together. Whichever path you've chosen, it's still crucial to know a few tips to manage money together as newlyweds to determine where you should begin and how you can remain on the same page.
Discussing Money Motivations
As we begin to share money with our significant other, we soon find out what one person may rank as a priority regarding money and the other may not. As such, sitting down and discussing money motivations is important. Two people who cannot agree on how to handle money may cause serious issues. This should include:
- How to deal with money following payday. Is a percentage put into savings? Is that the day to splurge on dinner, drinks, and more?
- The frequency and size of payments made to debts. Some people like to pay minimums, whereas others pay in full or make double payments.
- What do you each consider money well spent? Is it a new 70" 4K television? Is it an investment? Is it paying as much debt off as possible?
- How do you go about consulting each other before making purchases over a certain amount?
Establishing Financial Goals
After you evaluate the motivations behind your money and how it should be spent, you'll need to spend time together hashing out financial goals. As newlyweds, there are certain things on your list that you're going to want to save for. How do you go about that? How much of each paycheck will you dedicate to a particular fund?
Some things in the future worth making a financial plan for include savings and paying down debts. This is the time to be honest about your current financial standing. If you're looking to buy a home, you'll want to assemble a first-time homeowner financial checklist to begin to develop topics of conversation. Some of the things to consider setting goals for are:
- Student loans
- Car loans
- Future children
- A house
- Medical bills
- Delinquencies on credit reports
- Vacation and rainy-day funds
- Emergency funds
The more honest and open you can be with each other about the money you have and now the debts you share, the better. Implementing plans for the best ways to have the things that you both desire while still taking care of existing demands is important. These can be uncomfortable things to talk about; however, these conversations are necessary.
Following these tips to manage money together as newlyweds will allow you to have a starting point for conversations that can be tough to start. The sooner you and your partner get on the same page with finances and the responsibilities that come with them, the easier the transition will be and the sooner you'll find success.
It's the dream: money you can count on to keep rolling in, even while you sleep.
Passive income isn't entirely passive, of course. You'll put in work up-front to get the profits rolling, so don't relax in your recliner just yet. But with so many potential sources of passive income available to you, picking one or several will mean that the day you can finally kick back will draw steadily closer.
Real estate is a tried-and-true wealth builder for a simple reason: people will always need somewhere to live. Research the market in a growing community until you know a good deal when you see it. You can maximize rent by fixing up a deteriorating property or upgrading a mediocre one. The key is to hire a property manager to do all the day-to-day landlord duties for you—and you'll need a good one. Smart investors put their profits in another property and repeat the process until they have a diverse portfolio.
A YouTube Channel
You can start a blog if you're more comfortable hiding behind a computer, but consumers are more likely to prefer video content. Post a series of “how-to" videos to answer questions about whatever you're an expert in.
You can put up any content you want, but if you don't want to commit to regularly updating it, focus on “evergreen" topics that will draw clicks for eternity. Ads will create your income, especially if your channel grows in popularity. Better yet, sign up for affiliate marketing. If you recommend a product and provide a link to buy it, you'll get a small percentage of those transactions.
If you don't mind vinyl-wrapping your car with an ad for a company, you can get cash just driving around and running your errands. Make sure you contact a reputable company that doesn't ask for any money from you; if they're the real deal, they'll evaluate your car, your driving habits, your area, and more. Bonus: the brighter the ad, the easier it'll be to find your vehicle in the parking lot.
What's something that people will pay for but doesn't require shipping on your part? Finding that item is what can supplement your income indefinitely. Write an e-book, charge for your cross-stitching patterns, design prints that people can digitally download, invent an app, record a “masterclass," or whatever else you want. Every time someone new discovers it, the cash register rings. With a little more effort, this is a potential source of passive income for you that can continue to grow. Once you build up a customer base, they might want more products. The good part is that it's up to you whether you wish to give it to them.