Talking about your finances with folks requires tact and the right timing. But throw in some eggnog and a dinner table packed with extended family, and any hope for a reasonably civilized conversation about money goes right out the window. Depending on your family dynamics and your financial situation, heading home for the holidays means preparing to field some majorly awkward money questions. Consider it a cross-examination where the courtroom is the dinner table, and the jury includes a great aunt, a distant cousin, and some in-laws. Any good lawyer would advise you to prep before you take the stand, so consider us your counsel on all holiday money talk. We've compiled an assortment of awkward questions you might have to field this holiday, along with some tactful ways to answer—or deflect—them.
Is that a real job?
Whether you're one of the 37 million freelancers, starting your own business, working in the creative arts, navigating the startup world, or doing anything that your relatives might not consider conventional employment, the answer is always YES. Because that is the truth and because you shouldn't have to defend your chosen career and the goals you're striving everyday to meet. It's important when faced with this question that you answer confidently, if not for their sake, for your own.
When Jacqueline Whitmore, founder of The Protocol School of Palm Beach and author of the book Poised for Success, was starting her own business, she had to deal with this line of questioning over the holidays. "My answer back then was the first thing that came out of my mouth which was, 'I have a real job.' That's all I said. Sometimes that's the best answer," Whitmore tells Time. If you're worried you'll come off as defensive, Whitmore offers another tactic. Try saying: "I am doing what I love, and you know what they say, 'when you do what you love, the money will follow.'"
How much are you making?
File this question under one you never have to answer directly, unless you really want to. Your income is your business, and unless you're asking for financial help, you are entitled to keep your business to yourself—especially at the dinner table surrounded by distant relatives.
Wisebread's Emily Guy Birken suggests responding to the question playfully —"for instance, by saying "Half of what I'm worth, I'd say," or by placing your pinky against your mouth and intoning 'One million dollars!'" Then, feel free to change the subject. ("So, what's the secret ingredient that makes this stuffing so delicious?")
You're still living in that place?
Here's one you might get from a parent or sibling. Whether they're prompting a discussion about your investment strategy or pressuring you into home ownership, the question may be well-meaning, but it's also dripping with judgment and condescension—and that's no way to begin a productive financial conversation.
One tactic is to shut it down with a simple, "Yes, and I'm still very happy there, thanks." But if you really want to address the elephant in the room, state your case. There are plenty of solid reasons millions of millennials are choosing to rent their homes rather than buy—from a volatile housing market to lowered insurance costs.
"Be honest with your parents, laying out the ways in which renting is a better fit for you right now and how much better off your finances are as a result," suggests Learnvest's Marianne Hayes. "A big mortgage payment may have meant not being able to afford your plane ticket home, for example." If they won't listen to your reasoning, maybe they'll listen to Warren Buffett who believes the best investment you can make is in yourself.
Why don't you hire your cousin/invest in her company?
Yeah, this one is really awkward. One of your relatives is playing job recruiter, or worse, you're confronted directly by a relative who wants you to invest your hard-earned cash into a business that doesn't seem financially sound.
There's nothing wrong with helping out a family-member in need, but the holiday table isn't the best place for financial matchmaking. If your cousin needs a job, you can respond by saying you'll be happy to help in any way you can, but that you're not in a position to make hiring decisions at this time. Feel free to ask him to send you his resume in the new year, and add that you'll be happy to pass it along or keep your ear out for opportunities that might be the right fit.
If you're being hit up for a financial investment you're not comfortable making, you can be a bit more direct. "Instead of saying you have anything against the product or her method of doing business, just blame your budget," suggests Refinery29's money expert Priya Malani. "If it's not entirely true, think of it as a white lie for the greater good: 'I'd love to but it's not really in my budget right now. Thanks anyway!'"
Can I borrow some money?
The answer to this question all depends on who's asking. Is it a parent or sibling? Is it someone you trust with financial decisions? Is their need dire? And most importantly, are you flush enough to meet their requests?
"If you're able to take on the responsibility, pinpoint how much you're comfortable offering," writes Learnvest's Hayes. "In other words, lend only what you can afford to part with. From there, establish a clear payoff timeline and put the agreement in writing."
Still, Hayes suggests listening to your instincts before you jump into any agreement. "If the idea of loaning cash to little bro makes you uncomfortable, trust your gut," she writes. "Politely saying that you can't afford it right now is better than a ruined relationship down the line."
When are you going to find a stable partner?
This one is a doozy. You may be dating someone who isn't as financially stable as your family would like. Even if it's an issue you've grappled with in your relationship, it's not healthy or fair for your family to interfere with your romantic choices—financially or otherwise—unless you're soliciting their advice. Being too defensive can open a can of worms, and take the conversation further down a road you'd rather not go. Try citing a positive career shift your partner has recently made or touting an achievement you're proud of them for. Then, change the subject as fast as you possibly can.
Any other awkward question we haven't covered yet...
You may not be able to predict what you'll be hit with before the holidays, but you'll know an awkward question when it lands.
"If it's uncomfortable for you, it's probably uncomfortable for everyone in the room," Bethany Palmer of TheMoneyCouple tells US News and World Report. Do yourself and everyone else a favor and follow her blanket suggestion for shifting the conversation. Try saying this: "That's an interesting question – let's talk about it later?" Then, ask about dessert. Better yet, ask if you can replenish anyone's wine glasses. A glass or two more, and they might forget all about it.
The National Financial Educators Council (NFEC) surveyed young adults in 2017 and asked them what high school level course would benefit their lives the most.
The majority responded that money management was the course that would be most beneficial.
With personal debt is at its highest record and COVID-19 threatening to have the hardest economic effects on youth, understanding money and finances is an important life lesson that should be taught to children at a young age.
The following is a list of the best financial literacy lessons and tips to teach children throughout different life stages.
I thought I had a pretty good handle on my finances out of school. I worked several jobs while attending university and had little to no problem managing my income. However, once I graduated, I realized how much more complicated personal accounting could really be.
There were so many variables I needed to keep track of. Biweekly bills, monthly charges, and general necessities amounted to a heap of confusing numbers that were often impossible to decipher. The funniest part was that I was actually trying to do this by hand (I don't know what I was trying to prove to myself, either).
After messing up for the 17th time, I decided to give Microsoft Excel a shot. I used Excel a bit in school and I knew all the big-wig finance people used it, so what could I possibly have to lose? The answer is about six hours of my precious time. Excel isn't much of an improvement over handwriting and it's still dependent on the user to manually input all of the information. It's like doing everything by hand with the slightest help, meaning that it still required a tremendous amount of time and concentration. Well that was all for nothing, I guess.
It's sort of funny. I was certain that I could manage my personal finances with ease, when it's practically a full-time job. I was already stressed out enough with my first job and I knew I didn't have enough time to give my finances the attention it deserved.
That's why I decided to try out a budgeting app. My best friend told me that he uses an app called Truebill to manage his finances. "What does it even mean to manage your finances?" I asked him. He told me that Truebill was the personal financial assistant I wished I could have. It could aggregate all of my account information into one place and give me specific insights and actions.
I loved the idea of having full control over my finances, especially during a time of financial uncertainty, and I realized that Truebill would be the easiest way to accomplish this. The user interface is incredibly simple and intuitive, so it doesn't even feel like a finance app! Truebill offers a multitude of features, with their most popular being the ability to cancel subscriptions with the press of a button.
Okay, I had no idea how many subscriptions I was still subscribed to. In fact, I wasn't even using a quarter of the subscription services I was signed up for. Subscription boxes, streaming services, my old gym, and even an old subscription to my favorite magazine--it was all there and I was livid. How could I let myself waste all of this money and how did I never catch this? Thank goodness for Truebill.
Truebill also offers bill negotiations. There is a 40% fee based on how much you save and Truebill even claims that there is an 85% chance that they'll be able to lower your bill once a negotiation is requested. Why wouldn't I take them up on this? There was zero risk and I would only have to pay once my bill was lowered (which means that I would be saving money regardless).
More standard features of Truebill include the ability to generate a credit report on-demand and even request a pay advance. I only used the pay advance feature once when I wanted to buy a gift for my mom, but didn't have enough cash in hand and Truebill automatically reimbursed itself when I got my next paycheck.
The credit report is another fantastic feature and practically taught me what good credit meant. Truebill's credit report basically shows you which financial decisions have the most significant impact on your credit score and ways that you can improve your credit month-over-month. I've never had such control over my credit and it feels good.
I'll be the first to admit that I was extremely naive coming out of school. I figured that as long as I was attentive, I could manage my finances with ease. We manage money to some extent throughout our entire lives, but once you're thrown out on your own, it's a completely different story. With Truebill, I've finally been able to take control over my finances and stay on top of all of my responsibilities.
My buddies and I always try to make it out to a game, but we never really care which one we end up at. Obviously we have our favorite sports and teams, but it was rarely about what game we went to or who we saw playing. It was about watching the game live.
In the early months of lockdown, all we had was Korean baseball, and trust me, we loved it. The only issue was, none of us had any idea what the commentators were saying. Even then, a few of my friends weren't huge fans of baseball. They were into sports like football and basketball, ones that moved at a quicker pace with less down-time in between plays.
We decided to see if there were any other events going down and came across horse racing. Yes, horse racing. It was perfect--short, fast-paced, and most importantly, an opportunity for betting.
I had never really considered watching a horse race any time other than the Belmont Stakes, but the prospects of the sport seemed exhilarating. Even better, with horse racing we knew we could still recreate the atmosphere of a race track. Salty snacks? Check. Stale beer? Check. A simple and easy way to bet? Check.
One quick Google search later, we came across TVG, powered by FanDuel. It's an online betting platform that takes you right to the heart of the action. We were a little apprehensive about using a mobile app to place our bets, but TVG's ability to bet on live horse races from all over the world was too good to pass up.
Here are 5 reasons why we are obsessed with horse racing thanks to TVG:
1. Betting has never been easier
Use your phone or computer to watch and bet on live horse races in real-time. TVG offers a bunch of features to make betting even simpler--live odds and handicapping tips leverage recent learnings to help you make your best bet. Not to mention, TVG's exclusive race content and wagering guide offers an under-the-hood look into the strategy behind horse race betting.
2. The biggest selection of horse races out there
If you're looking to drop a little dough on a horse race, chances are your best option is your local race track. But watching the same few horses races over and over again isn't the most exciting thing. With TVG you have access to over 150 tracks worldwide with races happening consistently throughout the day.
3. Get a generous sign-up offer when you place your first bet
Once you register your account, you will be eligible for a $200 risk-free bet. All you have to do is place your first bet and you're covered. If you happen to lose, TVG will insure you for up to $200 as a sort of wagering credit. I may have been a little trigger happy when placing my first bet, so having this insurance was a great perk. There are also a bunch of promotional offers available year-round.
4. Making deposits and cashing out at the touch of button
With a ton of payment options such as PayPal, BetCash, debit/credit, wire transfers, and other third-party services, making a deposit is a breeze. But what about the payout? Depending on your deposit method, your withdrawal will be available in a few days. No more waiting in-line to collect your winnings!
5. Watching live races with your friends while betting is exhilarating
Even when we were watching Korean baseball, Zoom calls with my friends were a little dull.
With TVG, we haven't had this sort of fun in months! Every weekend we'll turn on a race and throw our bets in. After a few races, and quite a few drinks, we'll tally up our winnings to see who won the most! Sometimes it's not even about making money, but just having a good time.
TVG is the perfect way to add a little excitement to an otherwise mundane afternoon. It introduced me to the world of horse racing, a sport I never would have considered otherwise.
The races just keep ramping up and thanks to TVG, I can always get in on the fun.